My favorite 3 C's

So, I plan to print off my blog into a book as a sort of journal at the end of every year, and as I was reviewing it, I decided I didn't want to include all my food and party entries in it.

So, I started another blog dedicated to all such things. It's still under construction and probably will be for a long time...

So, go check it out here:

Cook! Create! Consume!

So, could I say "so" any more in one post?

(I'm sure I have)

Throw away your mops

Two nights ago, I mentioned to John that our kitchen floors needed a good scrubbing. I used the word scrubbing for a reason...

So, he mopped the floor with our Swiffer wet jet thingy. (Yes, along with everything else he does, he also cleans the kitchen floor. But, don't forget I spend time almost every day cleaning the kitchen floor...)

Anyway, the next morning I come downstairs and actually look at the floor (I didn't after he mopped it) and it didn't really look any different even though he totally mopped it. I called him at work "just to mention" that he missed the keyword in my request - scrub.

So, I was throwing a baby shower last night and I wanted the floors to be clean. So, I pulled out the scrub brush and the Fantastic (it really is) and went to work. I scrubbed on my hands and knees for two, (yes, 2) hours. I think yesterday was the only time I had ever thought my kitchen might be too big...

Look at the difference...

Isn't that gross? Keep in mind, the right side of that floor was mopped the night before this picture was taken!! I honestly think John thought our floors were actually tan colored and not cream colored. (I had to take a picture to show him the difference. And, don't get me wrong, I love that my husband cleans the floors and I've learned to let my philosophy be 'beggars can't be choosers' - if he's going to do it, I won't complain, but when it gets to a certain point, I have to step in. Maybe that was his plan all along...)

So, last night as I knelt on the floor to push presents to the person I was throwing a shower for, I about died - my knees are completely bruised.

I woke up this morning feeling like I went rock climbing for the first time. Don't know what that feels like? How about what you felt like the first time you went snowboarding, or like how you feel after you've shoveled heavy, wet snow a really long time? That is what I felt like. My arms, shoulders, and neck still hurt, my fingers hurt, and my poor little, weird shaped, knees hurt. Scrubbing a floor is quite the workout.

Moral of the story - My mom was right, floors always look better when you clean it on your hands and knees. Mops don't quite get the job done. You have to use a little more "elbow grease."

Memories

There are random times when memories of my mom creep into my daily life.

More than once, while singing a hymn in church, all of a sudden I can picture her next to me singing her little heart out to certain hymns. The thing with my mom and hymns was that by the way she sang a hymn, you knew whatever she was singing about she believed in. Like, she was firmly bearing her testimony through song. Does that make sense? I love it.

There is also a children's song at church that whenever I hear, I can't help but get choked up. It starts with, "I see my mother kneeling, with her family each day." I totally did see that, and can still picture it. It totally chokes me up. It is such a sweet song.

The best is yesterday, I pulled out a pair of socks to put on, and they were my moms. I must have needed a pair to wear when I was visiting my dad and stole some from mom's drawers, and then ended up bringing them home.

So, my mom had a lot of socks. She would keep socks FOREVER. After she died, I found she had kept a pair of socks I had worn in my volleyball games in high school, and still worn them! (They were obviously good socks - also Asics) Anyway. Well, I can still picture my mom wearing certain things; like back in the day, she wore capri's (before, during, and after they were a trend a long time ago), socks, and running shoes. So hot. Sometimes they were thin, colored socks, and sometimes they were those big slouch socks - either way it was funny.

So, as I put on her socks yesterday, and I laughed to myself thinking about my mom and her socks. Then, I laughed some more when after I had been wearing them for a little while I realized there were holes in the sock on my left foot.

Classic.

Last night, those socks were put to rest in the trash can.

My mom would have sewn up the holes.

I want to be like my mother - but I don't think that is something I'll be carrying on...

A few things

I'm taking a break from making korker ribbon hair bows, and chocolate truffles to bring you this post about...

nothing.

Today, I told Mallary she couldn't take her bear out of her crib, and she asked, "Why?" That's a new one.

Also, today I heard Mallary dumping out all the toy baskets in Trevan's room, I opened the door and said, "Stop dumping out the baskets, we don't do that." She looked at me, looked sorry, and said, "Otay," and actually stopped! I think I stopped breathing for a second. What??? I smiled really big and gave her great big, "thank you, and good job." Maybe she's turning over a new leaf?

Two days ago, I finally planted some irises that I have had, transplanted two plants, and bought a Japanese Holly Sky Pencil bush and planted it (I'd been wanting one for a certain spot and finally got one!!). It was too dark by the time I finished and I didn't get a chance to water any of it. Lucky for me it's been raining ever since! Perfect timing.

I've decided I'm going to make a tee shirt that says on it, "Yes, I do have my hands full." I've gone shopping every day this week for one thing or another, and almost every check out person or just someone walking by says to me, "Looks like you have your hands full... You sure have your hands full..." One check out lady said it, and then when I stepped away from paying she saw I was pregnant and said, "and soon, you'll really have your hands full." I always give my courtesy laugh, or if my kids were crazy in the store I probably give a sigh and a curt smile.

Trevan got his five year old shots on Monday and as he screamed, Mallary laughed. Either she was trying to provide comic relief, or she likes laughing at people's pain...

My kids were just playing quietly in their room and now it's not so quiet, so I guess my time here is up.

Blogging Book Club

I'm even too lazy to upload the photo cover of the book.

Discussing: The Power of Kindness

Chapter 12 - RESPECT, Look and Listen

"We all know how it feels to be seen for less than what we are." (p. 161)

Don't we?

The author tells a story where he is to lead a workshop and before it started someone pointed out a man to him and told him that that man was really, really funny. Before the workshop began the author approached that man and said to him, "I hear you have a talent for making people laugh." He said the man looked surprised, but during the workshops the man kept making jokes, one better than the rest. After the workshop the author went to the first man, and said he was right, that man was funny. Come to find out, they were talking about two different men! The author had approached a very shy man, but "had inadvertently given him permission to express a side of himself that people did not normally perceive or affirm." (p.167-168)

I think we often put people in a box and don't let them come out of that box that we think they belong in.

"In true listening, we hear also what is not patently said. We hear the voice of the soul, maybe its cry." "To listen, you have to empty yourself of your yourself." (p. 173)

Judging "gives us a fictitious sense of superiority over the person we are judging." (p.176)

"At some time or another, we are all tempted to shape others the way we want them to be." (177)

Oh goodness, is our world, even our daily lives, completely filled with judgement. Me judging someone, someone judging me, but nobody having the right to judge anybody.

This is my favorite, and I'm sure I'm totally guilty, but am trying really hard not to be:

We women are such judgers - especially when it comes to mothering. Oh my goodness. The number of conversations I've had, overheard, listened to, etc. about mothering. The things we judge about: birthing plans, pacifiers, bottles, nursing, eating, talking, snacks, nap time, discipline... the list goes on and on and on and on.

Why, oh why? One way is not better than another (in most instances), and even if you felt like it was, does it matter that another person is choosing the other way? Who cares if a five year old is walking around with a pacifier and is still being nursed? It may not be a social norm, but who cares? It doesn't matter - It may seem weird, but who cares? Does pointing out the fact that our child doesn't do that make us feel superior in some way, that we are better mothers, or have better children? I'm just so tired of it, and I need to do better about not engaging in that kind of ridiculousness either! There are a lot of things all of us will see in other parents and disagree on, or think is weird, but it doesn't matter. As mothers, our job is tough enough, and we are all just doing the best we know how to do. Let's give each other a break.

I'm going to do better - and maybe just for fun, I'll ask Trevan to take one of Mallary's pacifiers and keep it in his mouth next time we go to the grocery store and see how many funny looks we can get... It can't be worse than John walking around a grocery store with a whoopie cushion under his coat...

Update

Thanks for hunting for my sheets. We didn't find what I was looking for, though Tara came the closest with a set from The Company Store (totally cute, barely the wrong color). I loved that she called it her Oprah project (still happening) for the day. But, if you happen to come across white sheets with red polkas - call me!

The sheets are for my kids room that I'm excited to say that we'll be finished decorating this week!!! I'll have a "the big reveal" post. It's exciting to say that I'll have one room completely decorated, organized, etc. after living here for 2.5 years!! (John said we have more than one room done, but when I asked him to tell me another room, he couldn't...)

Anyway, as for the lemon chicken - still on the hunt. I'm tempted to fly to Idaho to have it, if they even have that restaurant anymore... The need for lemon chicken has made me crave P.F. Changs for about three or four weeks now, even though they don't have it.

Anyway, that's the update.

Me time

Once I had kids, my "me" time turned into a lot of "we" time.

Last night, I realized I hadn't had any "me" time in a while. I needed a break.

I put the kids up in Trevan's room, and told him to clean up the mess.

I came downstairs and ate dinner by myself, in peace. I enjoyed listening to my crunching and munching, while I ate in a quiet kitchen. (I never noticed that you can't hear (or notice) your own crunching and munching when your kids are at the table with you...)

John came home, and I said, "There's dinner, see you later."

I went shopping by myself - granted, it was for work stuff, but at least I didn't have to worry about Mallary falling out of a shopping cart, and listen to her ask me for a sucker every three minutes. (Did you know (probably not) that after I had Trevan, a friend from college asked me what my biggest adjustment was, or the hardest thing so far about being a mother? I replied, "shopping." He was like, "What???? That's a new one!" He thought that was weird.)

I wasn't even gone an hour and a half, but it was just enough quiet time that I needed.

I love "me" time.

Circles

I don't know what yearly check up it was, but the Doctor gave Trevan her pen and asked him to draw some things. When she asked him to draw a circle, I held my breath. I didn't know if he could draw one or not. (I've heard some moms talk about this; but sometimes when you take your kids to the Doctor it seems like the Doctor is telling you that you are doing some things wrong, or there are things we should be doing that we aren't, etc. It's slightly annoying.) So, in that moment at the Doctor's office, I imagined Trevan not being able to draw a circle and the Doctor turning to me and saying, "He should be able to draw a circle. You are a bad mother because he can not draw a circle. We must get him special help right away." See where I'm going here? Gratefully, he drew a circle (to my surprise), and I escaped the electric chair.

On Halloween night we were at a party, and the kids were coloring and someone said, "Mallary just drew a circle." I was skeptical and asked if anyone helped her. But, she had done it all by herself.

Mallary's first circle

Her yearly check up is next week. If she is asked to draw a circle, I'll know she can do it. However, there are no guarantees she will draw on command - but, I'll be able to refer my doctor to this post...

Mallary pulled a Trevan

You might think that would be a good thing - but, no.

Yesterday afternoon, I put Mallary down for a second nap. I thought the first one was early enough that she might take a second one because she was acting so grouchy.

I thought she had fallen asleep, but after a little while I heard her bouncing around in her crib.

I went upstairs, and as I opened her bedroom door, before even looking at her - or anything, I smelled it.

It was a familiar smell.

The smell when an open diaper has been sitting open TOO LONG.

She had pooped in her diaper. Taken off her pants. Taken off her diaper and threw it on the floor. She had also peed in her bed.

It really is gross, because you don't know what she touched, what she sat on with a poopy bum, etc. So EVERYTHING has to go in the washer.

Ugh.

Trevan did this two times when he was this age and a few times when he was younger. Except he smeared his poo everywhere, crib, bed, face, mouth, hands - you get the idea. Once when we were at our parents house he flung his poo everywhere out of his bed like a monkey.

Luckily, Mallary didn't do any of that. I walk in her room and she points to her diaper on the floor and says, "poo poo."

Oh, the joys of being a mother...

Help me please

I'm on the hunt for twin red and white polka dotted sheets. (I saw some last year and kick myself once a week for not buying them)

Also on the hunt for a good lemon chicken recipe. No lemon Pledge tasting things please. Or if you know a restaurant that serves good lemon chicken - all chicken breast, not fried mystery meat.

Find me these things and I will love you forever. Really I will.

The joys of having a pregnant wife

I have a very good husband. It's nice to have a very good husband when you are pregnant and want your feet rubbed, the dishes done, the kids put to bed, or a late night snack. (Okay, for the record he does all those things when I'm not pregnant)

For example, two months ago I really wanted some buttery movie popcorn, and what did he do? He went to the theatre and got me some, and brought it home. (He said he felt stupid carrying a bag of popcorn out of the theater, I told him most likely, no one noticed or cared.)

Last night, I got into bed about 1:00 am because I had fallen asleep on the couch watching So You Think You Can Dance after spin class, and when I woke up I still needed to shower. Anyway, John and I chatted for a little while and then I asked him if he could bring me a glass of ice water. He got out of bed, and as he walked out of our room I called after him, "Oh, the joys of having a pregnant wife." I heard him from the stairs reply, "Yes, they are joyous times." (I'm not sure if I detected any sarcasm or not...)

Then, after I drank my refreshing ice water (with a straw) I tried to get comfortable in bed. I am now at that point in my pregnancy where I can not lay on my belly, sometimes I don't want to be on my back either, and being on my side gets old after a while.

"John, can you move so I can lean against you?" (When I'm pregnant the perfect solution to getting comfortable is me almost sleeping on my side with half of my body leaning on John's side of his body. It makes me feel like I'm sleeping on my back and my side at the same time while my body is being supported. It really is perfect.) John obliged and moved over, and put his arm down at his side. I moved my body to the comfy position, and John said, "Just don't stinker on my hand."

I guess, even a very good husband with a pregnant wife has to draw the line somewhere.

Tuesday Tips

TIP #1: INVEST IN LEATHER COUCHES!

The smartest decision we have made so far. Mallary has decided she likes bugging Trevan by taking a drink from her sippy cup and SPITTING it on him (and all over our couch). If we did not have a leather couch that we could just wipe off - I don't even want to think about how nasty it would be...

TIP #2: USE THE LIBRARY WHEN YOU GO ON TRIPS

I think I was always afraid to do this in case I lost a book or something, but for our last trip I went to the library and got movies and books for the kids to have in the car. I used to go out and buy some, or go to a thrift store and pick up some new books and toys - but, I wanted to save my money for shopping while on my trip. It was great, except for Mallary screaming, "BOOK!" from the back seat when she was ready for a new one. All the books got returned to the library safe and sound - well except that one Mallary tore...

TIP #3: DO YOU HAVE A MISCHIEVOUS CHILD? DON'T LEAVE HER/HIM ALONE FOR A MINUTE!!!

So, I went upstairs to change my clothes (might have taken 7 minutes?) and I came downstairs to find Mallary had pulled some cookbooks out of the shelf, and somehow reached (with her go-go gadget arms) a Ziploc bag of granola and dumped it on the living room. I then find her in the kitchen floor with scissors, a vegetable peeler, and candles. (She now can reach and go through my kitchen drawers) She was a busy little stinker.

The thing is, I think my home is pretty child proof - or at least it was for Trevan. Mallary is a whole other ball game, and I feel like on a daily basis I have to Mallary proof something else.

After having Trevan I thought I could have 100 kids if they all turned out like him. (Okay, physically I couldn't have had that many, but I think I could have handled them mentally if they were clones of him.) Then, Mallary comes along and is so completely different. She definitely keeps me on my toes. If she weren't so cute, I'd give her away.

My Egg Nog

is soo not healthy. I mean, I know it's egg nog, but...

I've been drinking this brand for a few years now, and I just read the label for the first time today. (I know. I know. My mom would so not approve. Sometimes reading the lables does take the fun out of eating...)

Over 200 calories in only a half a cup, not to mention sugar etc.

AND it has high fructose corn syrup. Of course it does! I mean I'm not totally opposed to high fructose corn syrup - not a fanatic by any means, but I do try not to put too many disgusting things in my body. (Did I ever tell you about the time I was at Target late at night and wanted a snack? I ended up buying some applesauce and almost ate the whole jar. I looked at the label afterwards and it had high fructose corn syrup! What??!! That must have been why it was so good...)

So, I'm on the hunt for some other Egg Nog.

I'll keep you posted...

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

Except for the brief standoff this morning with Trevan (John told him if he didn't eat his dinner last night, he'd have to eat it for breakfast. Then, this morning when he wasn't eating it, I told him if he didn't eat it for breakfast then he would eat it for lunch, and so on. We are so mean! We don't play along with the, "I'm full," but will eat junk five minutes later routine, or the "I don't like it" routine, because you can tell when he doesn't like something and when he just won't eat it in hopes for something better - I mean sweeter). Anyway, he finished eating his broccoli casserole in the car on the way to the gym.

This morning has been great! Mallary's mess to clean up after breakfast was very minimal, and I went to spin class in all my pregnant glory (I'm 16 weeks in case you are wondering).

We went to the grocery store and the kids were angels! Can you believe it? Mallary was an angel! Mallary even pushed the little kiddie cart until she found the Goldfish and carried those instead. I didn't even get a big cart. I even did self checkout and the kids had fun helping me do that too! I got way more stuff than expected, and the nice man at Harris Teeter went and got me a bigger buggy (cart, whatever).

A few of my favorite things I got at the store that really added a bounce to my step:

Different flavored Martinelli's and EGG NOG!!

I even found an expensive spice I use in the clearance basket on sale. I guess no one else uses Beau Monde - I bought three of them!

Mallary likes to help put away the groceries (and put the clothes in the dryer, but only after smelling them all first).

I love Southern Comfort Egg Nog - The Vanilla Spice flavor tastes really similar to my Grandma's custard! MMMMMmmmmm so good! Trevan calls Egg Nog, "Egg Milk." Doesn't that sound delish???

My big helpers

This is one of my favorite times of year because these products are now available!!!!!

Yes. I drink my calories, thank you very much.

And, that is why I go to spin class...

The Oprah Project - Continued

Due to having sick kids last week and spending two mornings at the Doctor's office some of my surprises couldn't take place. So, The Oprah Project carries over into this week.

But, as an update - Do you remember this post? Last week, I handed out the last of the granola bars. Time to restock my glove box.

Sometimes, I do feel silly handing granola bars out of the window to people holding signs. But, the signs say they're hungry... Everytime I've handed them out though, the people seem geniunely grateful, so that makes me feel less silly.

Anyway, there are some fun surprises in the works for this week...

Now if my kids could just stay healthy...

New favorite

One of my biggest weaknesses is food. I would love to be a food critic, and go around sampling foods. I think I'm going to look into that... Unfortunately, my husband shares this passion with me, so we LOVE trying new restaurants and new food. Which isn't so great on our waist lines or our wallets...

I am 30 years old, and I just had the best burger of my life on Monday at a restaurant we tried near John's work. We had tried a few of the bakery items there before, but had never eaten a meal there.

I. WAS. IN. HEAVEN.

This was my burger: Certified American KOBE 8 oz. burger with smoked cheddar cheese, caramelized red onions, apple wood smoked thick-sliced bacon, roasted garlic black truffle aioli & local lettuce on a (the restaurant's) bun. I think it had another sauce on it too, but not sure what it was.

Doesn't seem like anything too extraordinary, right?

My thing with burgers is I don't like pink, and most restaraunts can't cook that. This burger was juicy, and oh so flavorful, I ate and enjoyed every single bite. Honestly when I let John take a bite, I didn't say this out loud, but I thought, "that was a little too big." It was soooo goood! (That's the beauty of sharing this love with my husband we always sample each other's food. There are a lot of times we want to order the same things, but try not to so we can try different food.)

When John saw the word 'truffle' on the menu he said, "there's chocolate on the burger?" I like to think I've helped him be more cultured.

I've been dreaming of that burger since Monday...

Blogging Book Club

I know!

Two in one day! Let's just say I'm feeling very generous.

CHAPTER 11 - GENEROSITY - Redefining Boundaries

(BBEP, BEEP, BEEP - I interrupt this regular scheduled programing to say that Trevan just called a Tootsie Roll a "Turkey Roll.")

"For the generous person, borders are permeable. What is yours - your suffering, your problems - is also mine: This is compassion. What is mine - my possessions, my body, my knowledge and abilities, my time and resources, my energy - is also yours: This is generosity." (p. 150)

"Nothing is nobler and more beautiful than someone spontaneously giving... Do we give out of habit, guilt, social pressure? Do we give so as to obtain a tax deduction, or to show off, or because it is good publicity?" (p.152)

The tax deduction is the one that bugs me, it always has, especially having worked in non-profit. Are we giving to give, or are we giving only if there is something in it for me? When people ask me for something I ignore the whole tax deduction part, that's not the reason I give. When working for non-profit, I loved hearing people say when asked if they want the tax deduction form to not worry about it. (For the record, there's nothing wrong with it, I just like it when people want to give to give, and not care if they get something in return, except that warm fuzzy feeling.)

The author talks about how we can be generous with ourselves, sharing us with others. He talks about how we keep a lot of experiences to ourselves and only communicate the easy stuff.

"However, it is through sharing of our inner life, of the richest and most fertile part of ourselves, that relationships grow rich and enjoyable. Out relationships are defined by how much of ourselves we communicate." (p. 154)

"We also know as a documented fact that poorer people, proportionally to their income, give more to charity than richer people. It seems having little money keeps them more in touch with the values that count, or perhaps it is because it helps them understand the discomfort of lacking what is vital. Or maybe it's because the pain of need keeps alight the flame of compassion." (p. 159)

Also, having worked in non-profit this was very evident in fundraising; the smaller towns were able to raise more many than the larger cities with larger incomes. It's also about a sense of community, and that is harder to foster in a bigger city.

The author tells a story of what happened when a tribe in South Kenya heard of the tragedy of September 11th:

"Dressed in their multicolored garments, they held a solemn meeting and decided they would send their most precious possession - sixteen cows - to the people of New York to help them in this difficult moment. These people, who had known the torment of hunger, were now ready to give up their food to show their solidarity to other human beings they had never met."

"Generosity is exactly this: to give that which is dearest to us. It is an act that transforms us. After it, we will be poorer, but we will feel richer... We will have made the world we live in a little kinder." (p. 160)

Blogging Book Club

It continues...

(But, I actually really liked this chapter)

CHAPTER 10: PATIENCE - Have You Left Your Soul Behind?

Heavens knows I am not the most patient person in the world... Oh my.

"Patience is also the skill of understanding and respecting your own rhythms and those of others... When someone imposes on us a rhythm that is not ours, we feel violated." (p. 137)

Yes, make your rhythm match mine, NOW! That might be my attitude...

I have always walked fast; let's get going, let's go - that's my mentality. I had a very slow moving roommate in college, who I also grew up with, and for example, I would be out of the car and in the store before she would even have her seat belt off (my husband is the same way). She came with me to pick up my mom from the airport before I had Trevan. I picked her up at work and followed her out to my car. (Did you get that, 'followed?') I was large and pregnant, so I guess I waddled out behind her to the car. For once she was walking faster than me. She turned around and was like, "what???" and starting laughing her classic laugh. That had never happened. I was always running ahead. Anyway, just a funny moment, I won't ever forget.

The author tells a GREAT story:

"A group of scientists had to carry out research in a far-away, almost inaccessible place. A group of Mexican carriers were transporting their equipment by hand. Along the way, all the carriers inexplicably stopped at once. The scientists were astonished, then became irritated, finally furious. Why did they not go on? They were wasting time. The Mexicans seemed to be waiting. Then all at once, they started moving again. One of them explained to the scientists what had happened: "Because we had been going so fast, we had left our souls behind. We stopped to wait for our souls." (p. 138)

"Caught up in the urgency, we forget what is truly important in life. Pushed on by the demon of haste, we forget our souls - our dreams, our warmth, our wonder." (p. 139)

I love that story. The author talks about when we are impatient, "we forget the soul - theirs and ours."

"Kindness has a slow pace." (p. 139)

Interesting thought.

"I am convinced that global cooling goes hand in hand with the accelerated pace in all sectors of modern life. We are under pressure - we cannot afford to waste even a second. Children are made to grow up fast, and we feel proud when they can complete next year's curriculum early..." (p. 141)

"'Pointless' activities, like having a chat, meeting in the square or in a park, idling away the time with others, are often discouraged. If all this is happening, inevitable the room for warmth becomes less and less." (p. 141)

"... the more we hurry, the less we are willing to help... We are kinder when we have more time." (p. 142)

A Tibetan Buddhist tradition in how they help teach patience is to fill five hundred little bottles one by one with water, without hurrying. "I am filling this little bottle, here, in this moment, without thinking there are 499 to go." (p. 143)

Oh my. I would so have a hard time. I would totally look at the bottles and be like how can I fill these the fastest, what is the most efficient way to do this.

In some perception, time is almost an enemy.

"In this perspective, the person in front of us in line who lingers to chat with the employee about trivial matters, while our time bomb keeps ticking away, cannot help but arouse our murderous instincts." (p.144) This is so my little sister when she's driving. (You know it.)

"If ever we can be free of the need to get there first, do more, earn more, then other people will no longer appear as obstacles to our urgency. We will feel kinder toward them." (p. 146)

Dear John,

I will try better to not view you as an obstacle to my urgency.

Love,

Holly

My little runaway - run, run, run, run, runaway

You know that song, right? It's been in my head since I started this post!

Did you ever run away as a kid? I totally did. “Fine. I’m running away!” I would cry. “What can I help you pack?” I think my mom said once.

The thing is, I’ve always been a tad paranoid, and there was no way I would leave and go somewhere by myself! Way too scary. So, I ran away to the car, van, or station wagon, whatever we had at the time. My method was to storm out of the door, sneak around the house and hide for a little bit just in case someone was watching and then creep over and get into a car. I remember once I was really mad and stormed out after declaring I was running away, and then I tried to get in our maroon station wagon, and it was locked! I remember thinking, “Now, what am I going to do?” It’s not like I could go back inside and get the keys. That was probably one of my shortest run away moments. There were times I seriously had to sweat it out in the cars on hot days.

I think the last time I ran away, I went the farthest I had ever run away to – the neighbors. Now, they weren’t right next door (their house was on 5 acres), I had to actually walk down the hill and then up the other hill. At the front of their house they had/have a small cluster of pine trees that made the perfect little fort inside; so I hid there with my Saltine crackers. Then Jim (the neighbor man) came home and spotted me (I totally thought I was hidden), and said, “Hello there! Everything alright?” I was soooo embarrassed I never ran away again…

Until last week.

Last Monday, I asked John to find out how many vacation days he could take and still have his Christmas vacation. I wanted to get away. He said he had two days, so on Tuesday, I asked him to ask off for Thursday and Friday, and his boss let him. Thank goodness. I’d been wanting to go back to Berlin, Ohio (Amish country) since I went with my dad and sister last year, and they didn’t want to go this year, so I was either going to go with my family or by myself, but John was able to get it off.

So, Tuesday night I spent almost two hours online trying to find a hotel. Who knew so many people were headed there that weekend. I eventually found a place that met all the requirements (pool & breakfast & less than $140 a night). The only drawback was it was 37 minutes away from everything, but it ended up being a really nice drive, and with the money we saved from finding a cheaper hotel we literally cut the cost of our trip almost in half.

We left on Wednesday after John got off work and made our first stop at my grandparent’s house, which was conveniently located along the way. Then, the next day we only had a little less than five hours to drive. We also stopped there for about an hour on the way back on Saturday.

My favorite thing from visiting my grandparents was when John asked Grandpa what bad habits my grandma had to break after they got married (they got married at like 15 and 17 or 18). My Grandpa thought for a minute, and was like, "I don’t know if I had any bad habits, I had already stopped wetting the bed." My Grandma cracked up! I haven’t seen my grandparents laugh that hard in a long time. It was really funny.

I know this picture is fuzzy, but it was so cute with Trevan hugging him.

This is where Trevan gets his ears from. Grandma didn't want me to take a picture of her.

It was busy in Berlin, but the only waiting we had to do was to taste test the cheese, and it could have been worse.
This is a classic picture from our trip, Trevan bugging Mallary.

My kids are so funny; I can't get a real smile out of them. I say, "Cheese," and this is what they do. They both look constipated.

John got some gummy snacks for the kids, and I asked Mallary if she needed help carrying that bag, and you would have thought she was carrying millions of dollars - she was not going to let go of that bag!

We went to a pumpkin patch that had a lot of animals. Mallary found her favorite - a little puppy for sale.

That's how big of a pumpkin it took to hide my belly.

This is a classic Mallary look she gives to strangers, and anyone else (even the messy hair). Like, "What are you looking at Mister?" She just holds it too, like it is some kind of staring contest. She's pretty funny.

We took a wagon ride out to the pumpkin patch to pick out some pumpkins. Mallary was a little worried when we first got on the wagon. It was really bouncy.

Trevan loved it.

Our first pumpkin we chose.

I was looking for the perfect tall one.

Mallary trying to pick up a pumpkin that weighed more than herself.

Do you like her pumpkin picking attire? We were planning on going to the pumpkin patch the next day, then we heard it was going to rain the next day so we decided to go ahead and do it this day. But those are really cute shoes.

Our two 31 pound pumkins!

I wonder how much that large pumpkin would have been?

This is the stand off. Trevan and I were already in the car, and John was trying to get Mallary to come on.

Mallary did not want to leave the animals. She's like, "I wonder how long I can stand here until Daddy will come get me?"

There was such pretty fall foliage, and I really didn't take any pictures of it, except this one.

I've been dreaming about these for a year now. Sweet potato fries with a yummy caramel sauce. I thought when I ordered them before they came on a smaller plate, so I ordered two of them. They were both this size. That was pretty funny. Needless to say we didn't finish them.

The next day was totally rainy - ALL DAY. But, what do you do on a rainy day? SHOP! That's exactly what I did. John would drive me places, occassionally come in too, but he would wait in the car with the kids. He's so great. We stopped at the Guggisberg Cheese place and saw them making cheese. Home of baby swiss cheese - my favorite.

A miniature house with a scary doll hanging out of

The largest Amish buggy.

This is how easy it is to take a picture of our kids.

This is where we ate dinner the last night and had FABULOUS fondue!

Totally better than The Melting Pot, and I love The Melting Pot. It was so much fondue, we couldn't even finish it! You see my drip down the side of the bowl?

Going out to eat with our kids on this trip was CRAZY! In Berlin, most of the tourists are older people, retired, etc. You don't see many strollers or many kids so when we walk into a restaurant, everyone smiles as we pass, and you hear, "Oh, how cute," "Look at that little girl," etc. etc. When I hear that, I smile, and think to myself, "Oh, you just wait till the three ring circus starts." Mallary is a three ring circus all by herself. Our kids were crazy, and barely ate anything - it's like they knew they were the entertainment for everyone. Ugh! I was so done with going to restaurants with them and John missed THREE exits on the way home adding an hour to our trip making us have to stop for dinner. (I asked John if he needed me to read the directions to him, and he was like, "nope, I got it." Five minutes later I said, "you just missed your exit," which he replied, "oh, no, it's coming up." He has an issue with not reading the road signs...) So in the last restaraunt I asked John, "Will it offend you if I sit at a table by myself?"

Here is one token picture of the trees, and it wasn't even a really pretty spot, the other two pictures I took didn't turn out very well. But, I'll always see the pretty leaves in my memory.

It was seriously so nice to get away. The scenery on the drive was beautiful. It was so peaceful - well, as peaceful as it can be with a 5 year old and a 2 year old fighting over who will or will not hold the DVD player, or who is touching who’s seat. Are you kidding me? I had no idea that would start at this age!

I don't consider myself to be spontaneous anymore, but this was a great spontaneous trip!

Tuesday Tips - Coping with Morning Sickness

Or for me, 24 hour a day sickness (minus sleeping time, no sick feelings when you are sleeping...)

So, with Trevan I wasn't ever really sick. I was worried I would be, and I slept with Saltines on my night stand to munch on before even getting out of bed. An empty stomach didn't feel great, but it wasn't that big of a deal. The basics of Saltines and ginger ale worked fine. Mostly, I felt like I might pass out a lot, usually when my stomach was empty and then chewing gum worked fine.

Being pregnant with Mallary was a whole different ball game.

I remember when my sister was pregnant and sick I was like, "why don't you just get up and do something???" Then, I experienced it... It is something indescribable unless you've experienced it. Non stop nausea. Your body is tired from creating a little baby and on top of that you feel like you want to throw up ALL. THE. TIME. I was not a throw "upper" though, and my heart goes out to all of you that are. Ugh. So, with Mallary the crackers and ginger ale got old REALLY fast, here are the tips I found most helpful.

NAUSEA TIP #1: SUDOKU
I never even tried it until then, and I think the first one I did, part way through it I was like, "hey, I don't feel so sick when I'm concentrating on this." So that's what I did - I laid on my parents couch and did Sudoku. (My dad would walk in and say, "Are you still laying there doing those puzzles?") It worked, trust me.

NAUSEA TIP #2: JELLO
I was at my brother and sister in laws house and they had some of those jello cups, and I ate one, and it felt so good! I couldn't stop, and went out and purchased those big boxes of it. RELIEF! (Maybe all that food coloring is Mallary's problem...)

Now, with this baby I haven't had time, or the opportunity to lay around on my couch and be miserable, so I haven't focused on it as much, but the moment I stop I realize it's STILL THERE! This is what has helped me so far. It's almost silly when people ask how I feel, because I ALWAYS feel bad. I will announce it when this stuff goes away, and it had better be by next week...

NAUSEA TIP #3: EAT FOOD. ALL THE TIME.
The only time I feel good is when I'm eating (which explains my 15 lb weight gain already, YIKES!), although sometimes if I'm eating meat it makes me feel worse. So, I eat a lot...

NAUSEA TIP #4: EAT COLD FOOD
Cold milk is oh so good (it made me ill with Mallary which is sad because milk has always been a staple for me). Frozen Go-gurts are also good. Ice cream - not so good. But, I've never really been a fan. I did crave an ice cream sundae one night, to which my husband kindly obliged.

NAUSEA TIP #5: ICE WATER
When I'm really feeling bad I pour myself (or John pours me) a tall glass of ice water. Don't forget the straw. For some reason the straw makes everything all better. This is actually odd, because with both of my previous pregnancies it was like pulling teeth to get me to drink water. Where we lived in Utah had disgusting water, and Maryland was no better. So, I had to do bottled water, and that was still a chore for me. At night, John would always say, "how much water have you had today?" Ugh. So, now I have no problems, because it makes me feel better.

NAUSEA TIP #6: BELLY & BACK RUBS
Like magic, I tell you. When I am really bad there is no other cure than this. John lightly rubbing my belly or back makes me focus on that instead of on the feeling that I might puke any minute. Seriously, like magic.

NAUSEA TIP #7: HAVE TWO OTHER KIDS, A BUSINESS, ETC. ETC.
When I was pregnant with Mallary, I would take a lot of naps, or lay on the couch while Trevan watched TV or movies. Well, Mallary doesn't watch TV, and I am way too busy to lay on the couch, therefore distracting me from feeling horrible. Although there have been many times where I thought I might be sick in the check out line at the grocery store, etc.

NAUSEA TIP #8: SHOPPING
Of course.

NAUSEA TIP #9: TV
Basically, anything distracting. This works for me, because it puts me to sleep (by 9pm! highly unusual for me) - and that is when I feel the best. Although when John wakes me up at one in the morning to go to bed, I've had a full night's sleep on the couch and now feel VERY sick for the next hour until I go back to sleep.

NAUSEA TIP #10: COOKING
When I feel like it... This doesn't help with the weight gainage, but oh well...

The Oprah Project

Remember last week when I wrote this post after watching Oprah? I mentioned how cool it would be to have enough money to be able to surprise people and make their day. That night before falling asleep, I got an idea.

Stupid me, I don't need money to surprise people and make their day. Sure, it would totally be more exciting if I could do big, elaborate surprises (you know I like surprising people, right?), but people like little surprises too, even small gestures to know that someone was thinking of them.

I decided I was going to be "Oprah" for a week - minus the camera crew, and high heels. I think you should play along with me too, it will be so much fun.

Here's the deal. Every day this week I'm going to think of someone I can surprise with something that will make their day (or hour, whatever). It's been so fun just to think of some ideas and people I could help that I'm going to have to narrow down the list. It's not going to be anything huge, just something simple that will hopefully be a little bit helpful.

Won't this be fun?

Come on. Be "Oprah" with me.

Blog Therapy

I know I have mentioned before the plethora of psychology and human development classes I had to take in college due to changed majors and attending four different colleges. Well, in a lot of those classes I had to learn about Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's stages of grief. For tests, I always remembered them by remembering the word, 'DABDA;' Death, Anger, Bargaining, Denial, and Acceptance. I can say that with the passing of my mom I experienced all of those stages. Though, I think the acceptance part came in stages for me. I eventually accepted her death, but still grieved and mourned. I don't know how accepting of the situation I really was. Within the definition of grieving and mourning is the word sorrow - and I felt a lot of that. I'm not really sure when I stopped feeling it, but I did, and I just realized it recently.

You know how they say sometimes a girl doesn't need to see a therapist, she just needs a good group of girlfriends? Well, I just realized the same thing of a blog.

I have experienced nothing more heartbreaking in my life than watching my mom die, hearing her moan in pain, witness her body transform, and see the hollow look in her eyes. I remember standing in the hospital looking at her frail little body lying in her hospital bed and thinking, "It's not right for a child to have to witness their mother dying."

When we moved from Maryland, and before moving here, I lived with my parents for about five months. There were times when my mom would all of a sudden get an infection inducing a fever, which combined with medication she was taking, and among other reasons made her so lethargic she wouldn't be able to communicate, she would sleep for long periods of time, even fall asleep on the toilet. Holding back tears (and usually being unsuccessful) while trying to get her to take a Tylenol, drink or eat something, or to get her dressed to go to the hospital in those situations were really sad times. Usually, after helping her into the car for my dad to take her to the hospital, I would go back into the house and cry. Those nights I usually cried myself to sleep.

In quiet moments in the days and months after my mom passed away I often thought of her in those conditions; her lying in the hospital bed, her lethargic days, what her eyes looked like, her poor, tiny, frail body, how family and nurses had to take care of her basic needs. I honestly thought I would never forget any of those things, and that they would stay fresh in my memory forever.

But, they haven't.

I'm not quite sure when those thoughts stopped coming, but I think I know what triggered it.

Recently, I realized I couldn't even remember the last time I thought of any of those things, and the images in my head aren't even vivid anymore. They say time eases pain, but I also realized that when I started this blog I started focusing on the good things, and the wonderful things about my mom. Focusing on the wonderful person she was, and all the good things must have turned off those haunting thoughts for me. But, that's how she would want me to remember her; full of life, smiling, serving. She wouldn't want me to remember her when she felt she looked like "the wicked witch of the west." (her words, not mine) She would want me to remember her shaking her booty in the kitchen. Okay, maybe not necessarily that, but she would want me to remember her fun times - not the times when she was ill, and weak.

I just don't feel that sorrow anymore. I feel like I have accepted her death and moved on with my life accordingly. Do I still miss her? Of course! I don't think that ever goes away. A girl would always love to have her mother, right? My Grandmommy (my mom's mom) passed away about ten years ago, and my mom always missed her. Was she depressed over it? No, but you knew she missed her. There are times, seemingly random times, that I miss my mom, and wish she could be here, or that I could talk to her, but, it's not something I dwell on or that I mourn for anymore.

Even after her death, my mom continues to influence my life. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? I would have never started this blog if it weren't for me hearing her voice in my head (while I was reading some stupid blogs) repeating a phrase she often said, "There's too much harshness in the world..."

I'll always miss my mom; but, don't confuse that with me mourning or grieving for her. I've crossed that bridge, and I think focusing on her goodness on this blog has helped me get there.

Packing my bags

I'm running away for a few days...

Try not to miss me.

Tuesday Tips

TIP #1: IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THAT ONLY THEY 'CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES.'

Maybe I have a pyro on my hands, but she is seriously in love with trying to get my matches. We had left them out from her birthday, and she pushed a chair over to the island and climbed up and got them. Do you know how hard it is to keep every counter top space spotless, because your daughter will get into everything? AAAGHH! (Note Mallary's chapped face in the picture above that I will mention later...)

Are your kids bored with their normal toys? (Obviously mine are because they want to play with matches) Do you need to keep your kids occupied for a little while so you can get something done?

TIP #2: BABY WIPES ARE NOT ONLY GREAT FOR WIPING POOPY BUMS BUT FOR KEEPING YOUR KIDS ENTERTAINED FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS!

Mallary LOVES wipes, or "biepees" as she calls them. She would literally play with them all day if I let her. This particular morning I was on the phone and I needed her to be quiet so I handed her the wipe container, and she was a perfect angel. I check on them, and they are quietly, and neatly unfolding the wipes. So, I thought, I'll take advantage of this and spend some time on the computer, get some work done, make some phone calls, email, etc.

I check on them later and this is what I find...


Everywhere.

Later on that day, I find Mallary had scooched a chair to the island and pulled the wipes from the middle of the island. Do you see what she is doing in this picture? This is what she does with every wipe. Right now, her face is partly chapped from so many wipes wiping it. So, I have to hide the wipes. After breakfast, the first thing she asks (whines) for is, "Biepees?"

TIP #3: NEVER, EVER, EVER STEP AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE LEAVING CHILDREN UNATTENDED. (A no brainer right? Not always so easy...)



This happens in seconds when you step away from breakfast. I mean if she doesn't like cheerios she could just tell me...



Also breakfast. The crayons she did the night before... I swear she just thinks it is fun to watch me on my hands and knees cleaning up the kitchen floor every morning.


Oh, this is a good one. This is during a lunch last week. Mallary was done eating, so she is walking around playing, and I thought I would enjoy a second fajita in peace without Mallary at the table. I assembled my fajita, and then nature called. I scoot the plate back away from the edge of the table, put my chair down on its back (as you can see) and go to the bathroom. From the bathroom I hear Trevan, "MOM!!!" I walk in the kitchen to find this. She had dumped my lunch on the floor! I was so mad that after I put Mallary in a time out, I had to put myself in a time out. I literally sat on my couch fuming. You DO NOT mess with a pregnant woman's food. When I came back in the kitchen, I saw the camera on the island and snapped a picture. Even when I take precautions she can somehow find her way around them...

We all need Nate

Did you watch Oprah today?

I was actually able to watch today (don't worry, I still did a little work through most of the episode) because my dad had my kids at the playground! I haven't been able to watch Oprah in ages, (except I did tune in to watch Nie) and not only did I watch her today, but I wished I could be her.

I caught myself smiling through the whole episode. Wouldn't that be so cool to have enough money to surprise people with various things that would just make their day, their week, their month, or their whole life???? I totally would love to do that!! Someday when I'm making my big bucks.

And yes, we all need Nate. Or, someone. I have seriously been thinking of hiring someone to do all the things I know I'll never get to; wash the windows, paint the trim, pull the weeds, transplant my blackberries and raspberries... Or maybe just hire someone to watch my kids and fill my orders and I can do those things...

Or, do you know when I'd really like to have a Nate around? You know when you have to run into the store just to get one small thing, or return one little item? Having to take your kids out of their car seats (okay, now just Mallary, but you still have to hold two kids hands, etc.), deal with them in the store, and then put them back in their car seats all for something that should only take four minutes that ends up taking fifteen? Ugh! There have been sooooo many times when I pull into a store's parking lot (especially if it is raining hard) and I have silently prayed to see someone I know that I can just say to, "Could you please watch my kids for a few seconds while I run in and buy a glue stick?" I've always imagined that happening, and pictured me hugging that person and telling them they made my day by being at the right store that day. That prayer has never, ever been answered. Wouldn't it be sooo nice??

Where's Nate when you need him?

Bad neighbors

A few weeks ago, I'm driving home from helping someone (only mentioned because that should have earned me some good karma... right?) and the thunder and lightening was warning us of a storm coming. I turn into my subdivision and the rain and serious wind start. I turn right, onto my street, and see my beautiful new tent used for my craft shows hung on my neighbor's gutter blowing crazily in the wind. OH MY GOODNESS. I park, leave the kids in the car, and try and rescue, not really the tent, but my neighbor's gutter. (We'd had the tent set up for Trevan's birthday party and John hadn't taken it down yet, and our backyard is basically a horrible wind tunnel...)

The heavy wind and rain literally take my breath away. I tried to hold down the tent just to keep it from ripping the gutter off offering silent prayers to make the wind stop. In that short amount of time I am already completely soaked.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a neighbor leave their house and shut their garage. "He saw me, and is going to come help," I thought to myself. Still standing there holding onto my stupid tent... Again, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the same neighbor driving his van, "Oh he just wanted to drive here instead of getting all wet," I thought, feeling a tad relieved.

He drove right past me.

Yes, he did.

Eventually, I was able to get the tent unhooked from the gutter and saw there was some damage, but the wind was still too heavy to leave the tent to blow into someone else's house, and the tent was too heavy and mangled to move by myself.

So, I am standing there soaked literally to the bone, in heavy rain, wind, lightening holding down a $200 piece of junk, feeling pretty helpless. I was so mad.

What made me even more mad is that two more neighbors drove past right past me!

What???

If I saw anyone standing outside in those conditions OBVIOUSLY in distress I would totally stop. ESPECIALLY if it was a neighbor.

Eventually the wind died down enough, and I had the tent down enough I thought it wouldn't blow away and I went and knocked on my GOOD neighbor's door to help me shove the tent in the garage somehow.

He and his daughter helped me, thank goodness. John got home from work right as the storm ended and right after we got the tent in the garage.

So, that night for Family Home Evening I taught Trevan about helping others.

"Do you remember this afternoon when Mommy was standing out in the rain holding down that tent? Well, some cars drove by and the people in those cars didn't even offer to help. Was that very nice of them?"

Anyway, we taught him about helping people which also turned into teaching him about stranger danger.

"If someone asks you to help them look for their dog, or wants to give you candy or a toy, even if they say they asked your mommy and she said it was alright, what do you do? Come ask me first, and I can help you look for the dog too! You always have to ask me or daddy first before you do anything or go anywhere with anybody."

That was pretty funny.

This however, was not funny:

You see where it says, "EZUP"? It should also say EZ DOWN. Ugh!

I was able to salvage the top awning and two of the side doors. That's it. So when my other one's side doors break (I had to buy another one), I'll have a $200 replacement for it! That was just the start of a really bad week that week.

I had to add in Family Home Evening that maybe the neighbors couldn't stop to help because one of them had just had surgery, or the other had to go poo so bad if he had stopped he would have pooped his pants. I did try and give them the benefit of the doubt...

In my kitchen

Yesterday, I had a billion things to do. Instead of doing them, I spent all day in the kitchen.

I've never canned my own jam/jelly, never even made it (not counting freezer jam), so I decided I wanted to try it out. I don't know if it has been the cold, rainy weather that is making me feel like a squirrel and want to store some nuts for the winter or what, but I have been wanting to do this!

So I made blackberry jam, raspberry jam, four berry jam, and 2 jars of apple butter. All the cans sealed and I was so proud of myself.

I did have a few mess ups. It was my first time, I don't use recipes, and mess ups are bound to happen. I called my Grandma seven times for tips (you would think that she would have a recipe she could give me after doing this all her life, but nooooo... so I'll write down my recipes for my posterity. My Grandma has also never made seedless jam, and she wasn't sure it would work very well, but that's what I did.) My blackberry jam was my first guinea pig, and I ended up making blackberry glue. My raspberry jam was next and it was a little less gluey. Luckily, I finally learned my lesson and my four berry jam turned out with a good consistency. I was really excited for my apple butter, and it turned out good, though not as dark as my Grandmas. But, it was fun to experiment and learn how to do it all by myself.

I also made some broccoli, potato, cheddar soup (I love soup, and I love fun soup bowls! These bowls have lids and look like mini pots, so cute.) and rolls for dinner. The soup was perfect, I was so excited to eat it, and when I went to reheat it for dinner, I forgot about it and burnt the bottom! The smell made me even more nauseous than I already was for the rest of the night. Blah! The reason I burnt the soup was because I was making apple dumplings for dessert and forgot about the soup. At the same moment the soup was burning, the almond sauce which was also cooking on the stove for the dumplings boiled over, making a huge mess. It was a fun moment for me...

My belly was full, the kitchen was a mess, and unfortunately I fell asleep watching The Office.

Also, being in my kitchen all day made me want to
run to Home Depot to put in some tile,
redo the floors, and paint the cabinets.
I better stay out of the kitchen for a while...

When I knew

WHEN I KNEW - THE HISTORY

I thought I always wanted a huge family, and then after I got married I had no desire to have kids just yet. If it were up to John, we would have started right away. I partially blame my aversion on Jen, my first college roommate, with whom I would watch A Wedding Story, and A Baby Story on TLC. (Jen, I don't really blame you, that's just where the story begins.) I continued watching these shows well after we lived together, and don't know exactly when the Baby Story show started getting to me; but all of a sudden it did. Eventually it became really disgusting to me, and it looked painful, and icky. Then, I actually started getting ill while watching it, like my face turning pale, etc. John would come in the room and say, "Please stop watching that or we are never going to be able to have children."

I'm a firm believer in the fact that you'll know when you are ready to have kids. You will. The month before I got pregnant with Trevan, I remember telling my sister in law, Holly (yes, we share the same wonderful name), that I was not ready to have kids, not any time soon. The next month I was pregnant. It was almost like I woke up one day ready to have a baby. Not so much like that, but all of a sudden I was okay with the thought of getting pregnant and bringing a child into our family, and then I knew it was time. So we stopped preventing, I went out and bought a fertility monitor, and then found out I bought it premature because I was already pregnant.

With my next pregnancy, I just felt it was the right time, got pregnant and then miscarried. This made us want another baby even more, and Mallary was conceived as soon as it was safe to try again. Literally.

I always tell people you'll know when you're ready. Ignore what other people tell you or the pressures that others give, because you'll know when it's time.

WHEN I KNEW - PART I

If you know me at all, you know I'm a planner. I usually have my calendar planned months in advance, and most of next summer is already planned. After I have a baby, the thoughts of when I should have the next one start creeping in my head. So, really for over a year, I have been trying to figure out when to have our next baby. We had a couple of ideas, but nothing really seemed right, or made sense. There were also those moments when I was like, maybe in FOUR years or maybe NEVER!

Then, one day in July, I was shopping (imagine that) and all of a sudden I knew it was time. Clear as day - the timing made sense (other than the fact that Mallary is still pretty crazy), I felt good about it, and just knew it was right. Simple as that. Which is funny, we never considered July, and the month before, on my birthday trip, I stated, "I am so not ready to have another baby right now." That night, I discussed it with John, looked at the calendar, and we lucked out on timing.

WHEN I KNEW - PART II

In August, I was camping with family at the fair where I was doing a show (I haven't blogged about it yet) and I woke up one morning feeling VERY sick. I didn't feel very well the night before, but still ate potato ribbon fries smothered in cheese, chili, bacon bits, jalepenos, and sour cream. So, I thought I might just be sick from that.

My dad had grilled some toast for breakfast, I reluctantly took a piece, and as I swallowed the very first bite, it was as if I was swallowing a magic elixir taking away all my sickies - and I knew I was pregnant.

(I ate at least four pieces of toast that morning. I want to say six, but that seems like a lot - though I wouldn't put it past me...)

Tuesday Tips

Just making sure I never, ever run out of Tuesday Tips...

Blogging Book Club

I am going to blog about the rest of this book a little differently. Honestly, just to get it over with, so I can move on to the next book. I'm just going to share a few quotes from each chapter that I liked and would want my children to learn someday too.

Chapter 7 - MINDFULNESS - The only time is now

"To be in the present with someone else is a gift. The gift of attention is perhaps the most precious and envied of all, even though we do not always realize it. To be there. To be totally available." (p.101)

"Inattention has a disruptive, depressing aspect, which saps our vitality and robs us of our self-confidence. It can arouse all our latent feelings of inferiority and make us feel like nothing." (p.102)

Isn't it annoying to be carrying on a conversation with someone and you can tell they are only half listening? I'm sorry if I've ever done it to you.

"Attention is thus a form of kindness, and lack of attention is the greatest form of rudeness." (p.104)

"Think of your best moments with others: I am sure you were right there, fully attentive." (P.106)

Chapter 8 - EMPATHY - Expansion of Consciousness

"A person who tries to jump the line, or drops rubbish in the street, or makes a noise when others are trying to sleep is doing so because he is incapable of conceiving others' reactions." (p.109)

Ignorance is bliss right? For example, if today I started smoking, I would never smoke around someone else unless I asked, "do you mind?" first. Or I would smoke far away from other people, because I know it makes me ill when people do it around me, so I couldn't turn around and do it to someone else. It's like, for some people they have to have something happen to them before they can have empathy. Thankfully, not everyone is like that.

"It is no coincidence that, according to many psychotherapists, empathy is the essential ingredient of the successful therapeutic relationship. Suffering individuals do not need diagnoses, advice, interpretations, manipulations. They need genuine and total empathy. When at last they feel that someone identifies with their experience, in that moment they are able to let go of their suffering and are healed." (p. 112)

"How do you face pain? It is not easy. Some pretend not to feel it, smiling the whole way through: "It's nothing." Some are proud of it: "My headache is worse than yours." Some like to show it off, describing all their woes in detail: "Let me tell you the history of my cavities." Some blame God or destiny, believing themselves to be the target of divine wrath or of adversity: "It always happens to me!" And some are always complaining, even when the pain is over, not only about real pain but also about possible pain, as though not wanting to be taken by surprise. Some fight the whole time, whether there is cause to or not. And finally, some simply become discouraged and depressed, and withdraw from life: "I give up."

These are all ineffective ways of dealing with suffering. They can perhaps give some illusory comfort, but mostly they just perpetuate or increase suffering instead of eliminating it. They best way to face pain is directly, with sincerity and courage. To enter into it, as into a tunnel, then to come out the other side." (P. 114-115)

And, I think sometimes we might have to hang out in that tunnel longer than at other times.

"Compassion is the final and noblest result of empathy." (p. 120)

CHAPTER 9 - HUMILITY - You are not the only one around

"If I do not try to be what I am not, I give myself permission to be what I am." (p. 126)

I love that!

"Only a humble person can be kind, because, not playing any one-upmanship game, she is able to enjoy a relationship in which no one triumphs, and therefore all win." (p. 128)

"I am one among many, mortal and limited, a human being among human beings. I do not have to prove myself superior to anyone." (p. 133)

A few more chapters to go...

A day in the life

Yesterday...

I decided to be productive and rearrange my room, which included moving two nightstands, a king size bed, two dressers (well, one dresser I could only move three inches and had to have John finish) and a bookshelf by myself. I then moved on to Trevan's room.

We have been redecorating since the beginning of the summer, and it is still not done, and Trevan's room was suffering considerably. So, it needed the major overhaul, reorganization, etc. So, that's what I did then I leave them in the room to finish putting away all the toys. I go back a little while later, and Trevan's clothes were emptied from his drawers, baskets of toys were dumped out, etc. etc. All the work I had just done was pointless. (At that moment John calls and says he is going to be late coming home, bad timing.) We start picking up and Mallary was hindering our efforts, so I put her in her room and then I go back to Trevan's and put away all of his clothes (for the second time). Then, I go and check on Mallary and she had gotten the baby wipes, and "blown" her nose on all of them. I take those away and go back to help Trevan. A few minutes later, I go back in to check on Mallary and she had reached in the changing table drawer and pulled out diaper rash stuff and had it smeared in her hands, a little on her face, a little on the drawer and had the tube covered. So, I cleaned that up and then brought her back to Trevan's room.

I fed the kids waffles for dinner.

We then cleaned up the living room.

Next, we cleaned up Mallary's room. (Let me remind you I have basically been traveling for the last few months, so everything needs a good cleaning)

I put Mallary to bed.

I finished helping Trevan put away all of his toys that we brought upstairs from the living room, and then put him to bed.

He said his prayers, and included in those prayers, "please help me keep my room clean." I said to myself, "yes, please." I read him two books, tucked him into his sleeping bag, (because he peed in his bed the night before and I hadn't washed everything yet, and didn't feel like making up the bed) and kissed him good night.

I go downstairs at 8:03, turn on the TV, start to put together one of Mallary's puzzles; the last of the toys to be put away, and I hear the garage door open and John walks through the door.

I put the ingredients for dinner next to the stove, gave him a few instructions, then went and crashed on the couch.

I was beat.

Check

I don't make New Year's Resolutions, I just make a type of 'To Do' list. Or 'want to do' list. Last year I tasted some grape juice someone canned, and I wanted to do it too; so I put it on my 'to do' list, and this past weekend I did it! Check!

My parents would can their own grape juice, but it was pure grape juice (no sugar, no water)where the grapes were strained, etc. But, this was much easier, and so pretty! I did make some without adding sugar to it, and that was not very tasty.

Next year, I want to make the pure stuff but add grapes to the jars to make it look pretty.

And now all these pretty jars are in my pantry. So fun!

Tuesday Tips

Five tips on how you can save a buck or two.

TIP #1: SAVE YOUR MONEY AND A HEADACHE... DO NOT BUY MARKERS.

This all happened in 12 minutes. 12 minutes!! I was finishing an order and helping someone on the phone at the same time when I hear Trevan yell, "Mom, Mallary's writing on the walls!" When Mallary colors in a coloring book, she makes a little mark on each page until all the pages have been colored, well, she did the same thing to our kitchen cabinets.

TIP #2: WHEN YOU WANT TO HIRE A MAID - RESIST. ENLIST YOUR CHILDREN FOR FREE!

I think Mallary had so much fun cleaning up the markers, she might do it again just so she can clean it up. I started wiping up the markers and Trevan and Mallary grabbed a baby wipe and joined in. For some reason the orange marker didn't come off...

TIP #3: DON'T INVEST IN THOSE TUPPERWARE CEREAL HOLDERS IF YOU HAVE AN EMPTY DRAWER SOMEWHERE - BE RESOURCEFUL.

This is what happens if you blog after breakfast and you didn't put the box of cereal away... The majority of a box of Fruity Cheerios fit nicely in the side table drawer. You know what I did? Nothing. I let the kids snack on them all day, and by the end of the day it was cleaned up.

TIP #4: DON'T BUY CEREAL BOWLS - THEY REALLY ARE UNNECESSARY.

Not pictured: The bowl, spoon, and remaining granola on the floor. I can assure you there was no smile on my face like the one on Mallary's.


TIP #5: BOOKSHELVES CAN BE EXPENSIVE - I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT THE POINT OF THEM ARE ANYMORE ANYWAY...

I guess Mallary was trying to figure out what to make for dinner... she likes looking at my cookbooks... she's obviously my child. (Not all of my cookbooks will fit in my kitchen the living room book shelf is my overflow)

What?! Your days don't start out like this?

NOT PICTURED: The milk on two other chairs and all over the floor...

My favorite 3 C's

Creating, Cooking, and Consuming FOOD!

So, last Friday I cleaned my kitchen (trust me it's a big deal, and of course you couldn't tell by the next day), and then I went to the grocery store and all of a sudden I had the urge to make a yummy meal. (My sister and her husband, and my dad were coming, but I was just going to do something simple because I was tired) While I was in the grocery store though, I decided I needed to cook, and I love cooking when my kitchen is clean, and that really does energize me. So, I tried these out for the first time... My yummy salad served in a pear.

I also made my own recipe for chicken cor don bleu, but forgot to take a picture until I almost finished mine. I pride myself on rolling it tight enough not to have to use toothpicks.

I also tried a new baked apple with candy bar dessert, which was all right, but I'll probably never make it again. It wasn't knock your socks off good enough, you know? I was also craving sweet potatoes and made some of those too, before I realized we didn't need to starches with dinner (rice and potatoes), oh well, I enjoyed it, starch and all.

So, on Wednesday of this week, I had no appointments, meetings, orders to fill, or anything. I even moved the couch to block off the kitchen from Mallary to help reduce Mallary induced stress. I was so excited!!! I decided I was going to do some cooking!!!!

I asked John a while ago to tell me what his favorite meals that I cook are. He gave me a few, and then said, "It's hard, because you make something good, and then don't make it again for two years." It's true. I like trying new recipes. For example this casserole, I haven't made since I lived in Utah, but I passed by the pumpkins in the grocery store and couldn't resist. So, I made this on Wednesday. A casserole baked in a pumpkin. Mallary ate most of it, she loves any casserole. You would think it would be weird to scrape the edge of the pumpkin to eat with beef and rice, but it's so good.

I've been wanting to make rolls for a while, and then found this recipe I had never tried in my collection. It turned out so yummy. That's all Trevan has wanted to eat since Wednesday for every meal. Home made bread is bad for me. I've already had four pieces of toast toasted in the oven with butter (the best way to make toast, and the only way I like toast, actually) today (and it's 11 am).


It was a white and wheat molasses swirl bread. (with my grandparents home made molasses)



Mmmm....

Okay, so yesterday I made chicken salad for dinner. For any dish I make where the chicken will be cut up or shred, I make my chicken in the crock pot. If you are still boiling your chicken, stop it! This is so much yummier, and you don't get the dry, chewy pieces of chicken. Yuck. You just put the chicken in the crock pot (cut the skin off with kitchen shears or not - the skin basically comes off anyway, depends on healthy you want to cook it) I don't even put any liquid in the crock pot, it just steams itself and creates all that yummy broth.

So easy. 4 hours in the crock pot, you know it's done when the little hole comes in the top (the breast bone breaking through, I guess), and when the legs fall away from the body and can be removed by barely touching them. Seriously, so moist and tender. I could eat the whole thing myself. Seriously.

So we had a summery dinner last night (the best chicken salad I've made in a while, I personally think) followed by a fall dessert.

I told you I was on a pumpkin kick. This was a baked custard. I had some leftovers that wouldn't fit in the pumpkin and I put them in ramekins and they made some very yummy souffles, but the custard inside the pumpkin turned out very differently.

Once you got past the top layer that was touching the top of the pumpkin it was a very smooth, creamy, flavorful flan-like dessert.

It doesn't look very yummy, but it was. You were supposed to serve it with pieces of pumpkin with it. Look how perfect the consistency was in the lower right hand corner? So good. I ate two souffles, I offered to eat Johns (he declined), and then I had two servings from the pumpkin. It was actually the first time I remember John ever commenting on me eating a lot. I think it was because he was being nice and being the one to get up and get me my second and third servings...

I love cooking, it is such a stress reliever for me (it also helps that John does the dishes), and I love seeing what I can create with my two little hands. Yay for food!!! Hope you eat some yummy food this weekend!

I'm going to go have some more custard...