Surprise! Part 1

I undressed to get in the shower and looked at myself in the mirror and was like, "what the heck is going on with my body?"

I ran four times a week, but jeans I wore two weeks ago were all of a sudden too small.  Shirts that I considered my "big clothes" were now tight.  I had gained weight since I fell down the stairs and hurt my shoulder in November and then broke my hand in December.  I had gained at least 14 pounds, but I had started running again and it should have been making me smaller, but I just kept getting bigger.

I googled thyroid problems.  I googled per-menopausal.  Something was definitely up with my body.
I was going to bed in the nine o'clock hour if I could, and I was depressed about it.  "So, this is what it's like to get old?"  I thought to myself.  I'd walk past John on the couch at night and he'd ask where I was going.  "To bed," I'd reply "I told you I was exhausted."  Falling asleep within moments of my head hitting my pillow.  I was struggling to stay awake to and from my job during my 45 minute drives, actually falling asleep once and steering off into another lane.  Scary.  Heart stopping.  Luckily, cars were traveling at a safe distance and changed lanes.  Here's the thing.  I consider myself a long haul truck driver, I'll take the night shift on road trips and drive through the night.  However, not anymore.  I was always exhausted.  I brushed it off to being on a new schedule with my new job.

I had to buy deodorant.  My face broke out.  Maybe, I was finally hitting puberty at age 36? Maybe that's what a body does when you go through menopause?  Your hormones change, right?  Because, I never really had acne, and I never needed to wear deodorant except when I was pregnant. And, I knew I wasn't pregnant.  I mean, I had so many x-rays, and they ask if there is a possibility you are pregnant, and I was always like, "nope!"  I was having my periods.  I mean, kind of.  They were super light and short and different.  Yep, I must be going through menopause.  

Overall, I just felt... bad.  I told my friend about it as we ran (and I couldn't even run normal anymore, I was having to stop and walk a little bit, and running slower) that something was up with my body and we decided I should have some blood work done or something.  She encouraged me to schedule an appointment.

A few days later while we were running again, I was lamenting that I didn't know what the heck was up with my body?!  I joked, "maybe I'm pregnant or something."  They looked at me with their eyes opened wide in surprise, and I was like, "I'm totally not, just kidding."

Then as I ran, I was thinking about it and was like, "Am I?"  Then my friend ran back to me and said, "I think you're pregnant."

"What?!!?!?!?!"  I couldn't be pregnant.  I know my body, and John and I are really careful, and I just couldn't be pregnant.  But, in my mind I was thinking if I'm pregnant that would explain a lot of things...  She said she had a test at home and I could pick it up.

I picked it up and I was planning to take it the next morning when I woke up, but forgot and took it around lunch time when I got home from work.

Not even kidding, I took it thinking I wasn't going to be pregnant, I mean I had my periods!  I put the stick on the edge of the counter, walked away to do some things, came back to check it and it said, 'Pregnant.'

I could not even believe it.  I had been too busy to realize I was pregnant!  When did this even happen?  How far along was I? I was in total shock and I had so much work to get done, but couldn't even think straight.  I texted John a picture of the pregnancy test saying Happy Birthday!  It was his 40th birthday.  He said, 'ha ha that's funny,' but I told him this was not a joke.  Maybe God's joke.  We went out to dinner with friends that night to celebrate John's birthday and it was so hard to be normal when on the inside I was totally, kinda, freaking out.

Our Christmas Miracle

My Doctor and the nurse left my delivery room.  The room was silent except the beeping and faint noise from the fetal heart rate monitor.

John stood in the same place, not moving.  I stared straight ahead at the wall from the hospital bed, and then for some reason glanced at the clock.  I’m not sure what hour it was, but I turned to John and said, “Time to get on the phone, we need a miracle.”

December 21, 2012 started with me finishing making and wrapping last minute Christmas presents. At one in the morning, I started breaking up the toffee I had just made and packing it up to give to Trevan’s teachers, a friend, and my dad.  John went to bed around one thirty that morning, while I stayed up and finished some laundry, presents, and a little bit of cleaning.  At two thirty I had some toffee and a glass of water, little did I know that I wouldn’t eat again until ten fifteen that night.  Though I went to bed around three AM, I hopped out of bed at six and took a shower.  It was the beginning of the big day!

The hospital I deliver at will not induce anyone before 39 weeks, however my baby was already showing on an ultrasound that he was large (8lbs at 36 weeks), and my Dr. and I were not excited about being in the hospital over Christmas.  So, the instructions were given to check myself into the hospital on Friday morning and tell them I was having regular contractions.  That wouldn’t be a lie because I had been having contractions for well over a month.

As we got the kids ready to go that morning and while driving over to the hospital my contractions were ranging from 3-8 minutes apart, and I was feeling a little pressure…  So, it was all working out perfectly. 

We arrived at the hospital a little before 9 AM, and I stood up while I registered due to the discomfort of my contractions.  While waiting to be admitted to triage, the girl who registered me started chit chatting and asked if this was my first.  I laughed and replied, “Nope, my fourth.” 

“Oh, well you’re a pro!” she said. 

Being a “pro” did not leave me any more prepared for the day ahead. 

Triage was boring, and I was able to finish looking through a few of my neglected magazines.  The nurse checked me, and I was barely dilated to a four.  I should also note that when she checked me, my baby’s head was down, which it had been my whole pregnancy… 

My contractions began being farther apart, and honestly, I was getting a tad bit worried that they were going to send me home, even with knowing it was the Doctors plan to keep me.  So, I didn’t have to act too surprised when the nurse said that the Doctor wanted to go ahead and keep me, to keep an eye on things.   She gave me a horrible IV, and then I was taken to my delivery room. 

For starters, from the time I was checked in at Triage, our baby was moving around like crazy.  He had no desire to hear his heart rate on any monitor.  They would get a good heart rate, and then he would move.  This actually continued all day, and it was very hard to get a good reading of his heart rate.  I had nurse after nurse say they have never had such a hard time monitoring a baby.   The sounds coming from my uterus via the monitor were insane – he was doing some serious moving and swimming in there!

My contractions continued to slow down, and I was basically just hanging out at the hospital having a contraction every now and then. 

The doctor came in and checked me, and I could instantly tell by the puzzled look on his face that something was wrong.  He said he couldn’t feel the baby’s head.  “I know he was head down yesterday!”  This same doctor had checked me the day before in the office.   He ordered for the small portable ultrasound machine…  My baby was transverse! (Lying parallel to the ground.)  My doctor then ordered for the huge portable ultrasound and asked for a complete reading by the technician.

That was a horribly painful ultrasound.  Due to how my baby was positioned forced her to have to really push at funny angles.  She was super apologetic when she told us that our baby was breech.  Breech!  He went from transverse to breech within five minutes!

My doctor came back a little bit after that, and could not believe that the baby moved from transverse to breech within merely a few minutes.  A baby that was supposedly going to be very large should not have extra room to be doing gymnastics in there…   Not only was my baby breech, but now my placenta was also low lying.  I had placenta previa with Mallary so I was already familiar with that and the risks involved. 

The Doctor gave me my options:

1.        C-section.  At that point, the safest and only option for the baby being breech.

2.       Try doing version, which is where they give you a shot to make contractions stop, and try to move your baby by manipulating him and your uterus while pushing on your belly.  It works sometimes, but also is very painful, and can cause distress to your baby which can also lead to a C-section.

3.       I could go home and try to see if the baby would move on his own, and schedule a time to come back in for an induction if he moved or a C-section if he didn’t.  Though, if my water broke while I was at home we would have to worry about cord prolapse, placenta previa, him being breech, etc. etc.

We discussed the options with the Doctor and Labor and Delivery nurse, Lindsay.  Lindsay was very apologetic and sorry we had to consider three not so great options. 

The Doctor wanted a good solid hour or two of good readings on the baby’s heart rate, to even consider option three, sending us home.  That, in and of itself, worried me because my baby wouldn’t hold still long enough to get a good reading anyway.  Lindsay played with the monitor until she got a good reading, and then they left. 

I had choked out the words telling John to get on the phone.  John called his mom and one of his brothers to ask the family to pray.  I called my sister because it was my brother in law’s college graduation that day and I knew my dad was with her, and that my other sister might be too, and if not she could get in contact with most everyone by the family iPhone network…  I had already been saying silent prayers over and over once the Doctor told me the baby was transverse. 

While John was on the phone, I had a flashback to when I was in labor with Trevan and things weren’t progressing, my Doctor said if I wasn’t dilated to a certain point at a certain time they were going to prep me for a C-section.  My mom was in the delivery room with me, and got on the phone and called my dad and asked him to pray and call the family to pray.  “We need a miracle,” she said. My thought was, ‘it worked then, it could work again.’ 

I was hoping and praying for a miracle, if not that, some kind of inspiration about which choice I should make.  After John made the phone calls, we sat in silence for a little bit thinking and then we discussed the options.  Honestly I think we both felt a little defeated.  I did not want a C-section for a lot of reasons, but I knew that if I had a C-section, that this would probably be our last child, because I wouldn’t risk carrying another large baby in a future pregnancy and increase my chances of a uterine rupture due to past C-section and a large baby among other things.  I asked John for a blessing, and then asked him to go into my bathroom and get on his knees in prayer where he wouldn’t be interrupted if a nurse walked in. 

There have been a few times in my life where a hospital room has felt like a sacred, holy place; when my mom was dying, and that day in the hospital pleading for help from my Heavenly Father. 

After John came out of the bathroom, we discussed our feelings, impressions, thoughts.  I didn’t feel like any of the three options were okay, but if I had to choose I would choose the third.  That was John’s least favorite choice, because it involved a greater risk to my life as well.  But, John felt impressed that it was up to me and he would support what I chose.  He said he felt impressed that no matter what we chose, everything was going to be okay.

All of a sudden, Lindsay came back in and asked what we had decided.  That hour and a half had passed very quickly!!!  She was on the phone with the Doctor and he was wondering what we had decided.  I stumbled over my words saying we weren’t sure, we thought the Doctor was going to come back in, etc.  I must have looked panicked, because she was very kind and said she was going to go talk to him and be right back. 

John got up, came to me, and said, “Why don’t you stand up and see if we can get gravity to work in our favor?”  He reached out his hand, and as I leaned up to reach for his hand, I had this crazy pain and froze in the position I was in.  I told him to hold on while the pain passed, it did, and before I could even get up, the nurse came back in.  I told her of the pain I just had, and said very hopefully that maybe the baby moved…  The Doctor sauntered in at that moment, hopped up to sit on a table, and said, “What have we decided?” 

I asked him if he could check me again to see if the baby had moved, before we make any decisions.  He may have hesitated for a second, then said, “Sure,” and hopped down off the table.  He grabbed the mini ultrasound machine and pulled it over, squirted the stuff on my belly, put the wand on, and said, “I can’t believe it, but that is a head.”

At that moment I could have dissolved in tears, I was so overcome with gratitude and thankfulness.  Our prayers were answered.  The Doctor was in a brief state of disbelief, and then went to action.  He quickly broke my water before the baby decided to move again and we were going to get this show on the road.  That was at 3:45 PM. 

Around a half an hour later, the nurse, and another nurse came back with the Pitocin.  One started to hook up the Pitocin, while the other tried to move the baby’s heart rate monitor to get a good reading.  She couldn’t get a reading.  The nurses exchanged concerned glances.  Lindsay said, “Okay, because we haven’t got the Pitocin hooked up within 30 minutes of breaking your water, we have to check you and make sure he is still head down.  And since we can’t get a good reading on him, it concerns me he might have moved again.”  They pull the ultrasound thingy over again, and they look at it and both of them are like, it looks like the head, but since I’m not technically trained to read this and I can’t find a good place for the monitor, I’m going to check you.”  I started praying silently again, and luckily when she checked, he was still head down.  So, my Pitocin was started about 4:30 PM. 

The Doctor didn’t want me to move much except to go to the bathroom so he could monitor the baby.  Because the baby had been doing all that flipping and moving, he wanted to keep a close eye (ear?) on him because the umbilical cord could have been anywhere…

Once my contractions really picked up I asked the nurse if I could stand up and if she would fix the monitor so I could stand up from then on, because I can’t handle the contractions without standing up.  So we did that.  Lindsay said she wanted to meet the little trouble maker before her shift ended.

She then checked on her computer and told me that there were only four of us in labor that hadn’t had epidurals yet that had planned on getting one.  I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have to wait long when I requested my epidural, because I like to labor for as long as I can without it. 

My contractions started getting a lot more intense and I requested my epidural.  I thought I was going to die.  I hold on to John during my contractions, and at one point I wanted to let go and drop to the ground not caring if I ever got up again.  Someone, had requested an epidural right before me, so I had to wait in line!!!  Out of all four of my labors, this was the longest I had to wait for an epidural.  In between contractions I was telling John, “If I ever do this again, do not let me wait to request my epidural.”  My nurse even said, “I was going to try and talk you into getting one sooner, but you said you liked to wait…”

I guess I was becoming so restless, and intense the nurse said she should check me, and I was still only at a FOUR!  What good were those contractions anyway!!  It felt like I had to wait forever…  I was totally moaning and “oh” ing in pain. 

So, I like to stand up and hold on to John in front of me during a contraction, or as my Doctor called it, “dancing,” and there were many times I was resting my head on his shoulder, and I was in so much pain I wanted to bite down on something, and it took all the self control I had not to bite John’s shoulder.  I have never felt like that before! Now I get all those old western movies where they have the person getting operated on bite down on a piece of wood or leather or something.  I told John he was very lucky he doesn’t have a chunk missing out of his shoulder. 

Finally, the anesthesiologist came, and I wanted to scream at him, “HURRY UP!!!”  But, it seems like they take their time, and they have to explain every little thing to you, and I wanted to be like, “Umm, yeah this is my fourth one, so I don’t really need the review, I just need that needle in my back delivering my drugs!”  (Though I use exclamation marks making me sound like an angry woman in labor, I’m actually very polite and nice while I’m in labor, and often making jokes.  But, in my head at that time waiting for an epidural I was using exclamation marks…)

I got my epidural right before 7pm.  The nurse checked me right after the epidural at the request of the anesthesiologist because my contractions had been so intense, and I was dilated to an 8!  So, I labored from a 4 to an 8 while waiting for my epidural!!  Oh boy – how do women without epidurals do it?! I will never know!!

Shift change – I got a new nurse Leigh Anne.  She checked me, and I was at a 10!

The Doctor came and checked me and got a funny look on his face again.  My baby was sunny side up! 

Are you even kidding me?!?!?!?!?  Was what I screamed in my head, and then I started praying again. 

“Isn’t there a way you can turn him?” I asked the Doctor. 

“There are a few things I can do,” he replied, “I’ve got skills.”  (John compared the attitude/character of my Dr. to the main guy on House… just to give you an idea of him…)

We were going to try to push and hopefully he would turn in the process…  He had me push lying on my side, because that helps to turn babies apparently.

I pushed the first time at exactly 8pm. 

I made the comment, “Wow, I’ve never labored with so few people in the room.”  There was only the Doctor, my nurse, and John.  Everyone gave me funny looks, “Usually, there’s like a whole army in here with me,” I added.  

Then, I pushed again. 

I felt absolutely helpless pushing on my side, I felt like we weren’t getting anywhere at all.  My epidural left me number than my last delivery with Jonah, and I felt like I couldn’t feel as much to push as well. 

The nurse asked if I was willing to try some crazy things to try and get him to turn, and I was. 

That involved getting on my knees and pushing like that and then while holding on to the back of my hospital bed.  Both ways I didn’t even know you could push if you had an epidural, but I did… 

So, babies can totally be delivered sunny side up.  It’s just a lot harder for their necks to bend backwards to fit under the pubic bone, versus their heads ducking under it normally when they are facing down.  I knew the Doctor would let me keep trying to push him out as long as the baby’s heart rate was looking good, etc.  But, I knew that if it started getting iffy that I was looking at a C-section. 

I was totally praying for him to turn.  Leigh Anne, my nurse, told me later that she was praying too.  “For you to go through that all day, and he turn, and then for you to have to get a C-section anyway would have been crazy,” she said. 

So, eventually the Doctor got him to turn face down, and I was just pushing along, and they were saying stuff like, “Oh you’re so close!”  I had my eyes closed and just kept pushing, then taking a breath and pushing, and it seemed like everyone was yelling a lot more, and I opened my eyes for a second, and all of a sudden there were a ton of people in there!  I knew something was wrong, but didn’t know what it was.  Just that there were nurses pushing on my belly, and people yelling (encouraging loudly) at me to keep pushing, etc.  I think that mentally, I had checked out some time before that or something…

Then, there is that huge release feeling, and he was out.  9:22 PM.

“It’s a toddler!” the Doctor said when my baby was delivered. 

Another Doctor in scrubs had come into the room and had asked what he had been summoned for, I remember my Doctor saying “Shoulder Dystocia for about one and a half minutes.”

He had gotten stuck!   I had another shoulder dystocia delivery. 

I watched that Doctor check over my little (big) baby. 

His little bruised face is so sad!  Especially because I know it's my fault for pushing while he was face up...

Even though I heard my baby cry almost immediately when he came out, I kept asking if he was okay. 

Everyone assured me he was fine.  I watched that Doctor check him out and other nurses attend to him while he squawked every now and then.  I could only see him from far away, but I kept saying, “I can’t believe he’s so big!”  We didn’t even know how much he weighed yet… 

When he was weighed, I feel like the room erupted with laughter and comments about how big he was;   Ten pounds 9 ounces, 21 ½ inches long. I could have sworn this was going to be my smallest baby yet…

I think I must have been in my own little world, because I feel like I was oblivious to what had been going on around me.  While typing this, I realized I didn’t even know if John had cut the umbilical cord and had to ask him because there were so many people all around me I couldn’t even see if he had been able to do that.  He said he hadn’t, because our baby came out blue (but not as bad as Trevan) and had been rushed over to the baby station to be checked out. 

I hadn’t even realized what was going on.  I was in my own little world praying and pushing, I didn’t even realize they had pulled the emergency cord sending an army of nurses in to my delivery room, until one of the times I opened my eyes in between pushes and all the voices telling me to push!

They eventually bought me my sweet baby with a bruised face.

“Did we get enough people in here for you?” Leigh Anne asked, referring to my comment a little earlier.  She laughed. 

I heard the other Doctor say, “Luckily you didn’t need me.”  

My Doctor had finished up with me and I heard him telling the other Doctor, “You wouldn’t believe it… he was transverse…then…”  Shop talk…

I tuned them out - I was already very familiar with that story…

I snuggled with my new baby.

Someone noted that my baby had a huge bowel movement all over the table as soon as he was delivered.  I looked at my new baby and said, “Awww… you must be related to your daddy!”  Everyone in the room laughed. 

Though, I like to tease John, if I have another baby, I may hire a photographer to be in the room with us, because the look on John’s face when we have a baby is so priceless.  Even though we have had other children he has had this look on his face when every one of our children has been born.  I absolutely love it.  He always has the biggest smile on his face and is half laughing - half chuckling.  He has this look of pure joy, delight, and amazement.  He looks amazed, grateful, and joyful witnessing our miracles. Though, they have all been miracles – this year, Everett was our Christmas miracle.

 

Here’s the thing.  Looking back, the miracle isn’t JUST that my baby was over 10lbs and still able to do all that flipping and went back to being head and face down, and I didn’t have to have a C-section, and he was safely born etc.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, that’s the miracle I’m most grateful for.  But, the miracle continued after he was born… This was my fourth child… my biggest child… the longest I have ever had to push in any of my labors – and the other miracle? Even with the previous factors listed; this was the ONLY time I have ever been taken to my recovery room in a wheelchair – and not on a stretcher.    I was also able to get up and walk sooner than normal, and use the bathroom and shower sooner than normal and overall feel pretty good.  Those prayers helped to deliver a healthy baby safely and naturally.  But, looking back, I realize those prayers helped strengthen me as well and gave me a much speedier recovery than my normal recoveries.  I’ll have to make sure to have an army praying for me again if I decide to have another child…

Though, in all seriousness, I was and am truly humbled and grateful as I picture our families praying for me, and for Everett to turn and be delivered safely.  At New Year’s, my sister told me about receiving the text from my other sister to pray for us, and how she gathered her family for a prayer.  I still get choked up as I picture her and her family kneeling in prayer on my behalf, and I am grateful for her faith to do so.  One of my brothers missed the text somehow, but accidentally got a strange email from my niece that made him call my sister at that same time, and my sister then told him the situation and asked him to pray for us too.  I am grateful that my sister and my dad prayed together for us in her car, and that my mother-in-law put got my name on the prayer list in the Houston temple, and for all the prayers offered up for us by other family members and friends.  I surely felt God’s hand in my life on that day.   

The whole month of December was a month of Christmas miracles for us.  There were a few little “miracles”  like ordering Christmas gifts online at Toys R Us, and it not working for some reason, and then checking out again ten minutes later, and two of the items I was ordering had gone on sale in that ten minutes and saved me almost twenty bucks.  “It’s a Christmas miracle!” I claimed. 

I also joke that I only go to the hospital to have babies so I can eat the hospital’s sugar cookies.  Twice I ordered the sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies were put on my tray.  The second time I sent John running after the food guy to get my sugar cookie.  They didn’t have anymore.  John told them I really liked them and hadn’t been able to get any yet, and they said they would cook some and bring a few to my room. Early that evening, there was a knock on my door, and a lady from the cafeteria bought me up a tray full of sugar cookies.  All for me!  They were even better freshly baked than I had had before!! That was so super nice of them.  I know it seems silly, but I kind of wanted to cry then too, I just felt so lucky!!

There were other answers to prayers that were major deals to my little family; moments that I will never ever forget, that I am absolutely grateful for, and am so humbled to have been blessed with.  

What a wonderful month December was for my family and I.  I was reminded of the goodness in people, the power of prayer, and that miracles happen.  I have felt loved, lucky, and very blessed.  I love that my little Everett is my souvenir of sorts from December 2012, a reminder to me of all the goodness, and that miracles can happen.

Dear Self,

Just in case you decide to do this again and try for a girl, and especially if you decide to have another child 2.5 - 3 years apart, let me remind you of a few things...

1.  Do not think for a minute that you will actually go into labor before the day you are induced.  I've decided that at 36 weeks, your body just wants to play tricks on you - it's done it every time.  Ignore the thousands of people who always say, "You're not going to make it to your due date, no way."  Try not to give those people dirty looks.  You will anyway, but you could at least try not to.

2.  Remind your husband that the first 16 weeks will involve you being extremely tired, and dinner will often not be on the table when he gets home...  Maybe he can help you do some freezer meals in advance? 

3.  You will have a two year old.  Let me remind you of what that all entails... You've done this three times - if you get pregnant again with a two year old at home, this will be the fourth time, trust me, it will NOT be different. 

• Chasing him through the yards of your neighbors and into the streets because he WILL get away from you.  You will be large and pregnant, you will not consider this fun. 
• You will either be chasing him to change his diaper and put on his clothes, or using whatever bribery method you can think of - you better start brushing up on your bribery skills now...
• Changing of nap times.  All of a sudden, naps are not as long, and it takes a lot more effort on your part.
• Moving from the crib to a big boy bed!  Always an adventure, always fun.  Be prepared for the shake up of nap time and the bed time routine.  Let me remind you of how hard it is to crawl into and out of the bottom bunk with the safety rail up when you are big and pregnant.  Your belly gets smashed and often your head does too. 
• Diapers.  Times two.  Your children do not get potty trained until after you have the baby.  Three is the magic age here.  Keep that in mind. 
• Discipline... What's that?  You will throw out more warnings than normal and not be so quick to take action - because you are tired and carrying a screaming, kicking two year old up the stairs is hard.
• About this time your two year old will decide that a booster seat is for babies, and that tables are fun to stand on. 
• They also demand big bowls, spoons, forks, and cups.  Brace yourself for the extra messes. 
• At this point they have figured out all child proof locks on your cabinets and doors.  Fun for you...
• You have now started to give your two year old a little more freedom while shopping.  Maybe you should rethink that...  Though, most of the time it's fine, the few times you have to race across the store, or drag a two year old to the check out line because he all of a sudden got spaghetti legs is not fun while you are big and pregnant.

4.  Try to come up with better responses to all the comments you get about how big you are, and people asking you if you are having twins.  Practice in the mirror so you'll really say them.  I think you should be having more fun with those comments! 

5.  By month 7 or 8 you will think, "WHAT AM I DOING??"  "HOW CAN MY SANITY POSSIBLY SURVIVE ANOTHER CHILD?"  It passes, just know it will come, and try not to be too hard on yourself when it does. 

6.  You will feel like a bad mother, probably on many occasions...  Cut yourself some slack, and make sure you plan outings for yourself away from home, and away from your other kids.  You'll need it, trust me. 

7.  Try not to think badly about those that park in Handicap parking spaces that appear to be walking just fine compared to yourself.  It's not their fault that the store didn't make expectant mother parking, just try to refrain from giving them dirty looks.  Also, those driving the scooters in some stores that don't appear helpless either - try not to judge, even though it may appear you actually need those scooters more than they do. 

8.  Though you are married to the same man that you were married to when you were pregnant with your first baby (I mean, hopefully...), who then talked and sang to your belly and waited on your every need...  Well, that man is now extremely tired, is sometimes grouchy, and will have four other children.  You used to be #1, and you still are in a way - that is after dinner time, after bath time, after bed time, and after he wakes up from a nap on the couch he will probably still ask you if you need a drink or a pillow, and help push you up the stairs at the end of the day, but don't have any other grand expectations.  He'll still be good to you, he just won't wash the bath tub right when you say you want to take a bath like he used to. 

9.  By the end you will have two tops that fit you. That's it.  Just so you know.

10.  Even though you've done this a few times, you'll still be nervous when the day comes to be induced, you'll still be excited to see this brand new baby, and you'll still feel grateful you were able to do it all again. 

Baby News

I'm getting induced this Friday!  Somehow my Doctors are managing to sneak me in (I'm still not sure how they are going to do it)...  But, technically the hospital does not allow women before 39 weeks to get induced, but 39 weeks for me leaves me in the hospital for Christmas Eve and Christmas.  So, hopefully everything works out!

 

I came across this email - how I shared our news this pregnancy with my family:

 

 

We'll be ringing in this New Year

Just a little bit different than before.

Though I'm only 5 weeks -

It looks like I'm in month four.
 

I know it's early to share the news

but I need to be able to tell.

The thought of food repels me,

and mostly, I feel like hell. (sorry, the rhyme was too good... and it's true)

 

 

Surprise!

It was to us too...

The best things aren't always planned,

Besides, we're used to living in a zoo.
 

Now, if you say you were the last to know,

It won't be because of me.

If you'd like to come be my maid -

Please, feel free.

36 weeks

Dear Baby Boy,

You are LOOOOOOW.  I mean like super low rider over a speed bump low. 

So low, sitting is very uncomfortable - you don't like it when I sit because it makes you have to scrunch up I guess...  So low, I can't sit lady like, or not even remotely close to it...  So low, going up our stairs is a bit of a challenge for me, so I try to do it as little as possible. 

It's funny how with you I have no idea how far along I am until I get an email from Graco telling me I'm in my 36th week.  Good thing I signed up to win that free stroller and playpen that I never won, but at least it keeps me updated on how many weeks pregnant I am...

I'm not sure if you are trying to come out some unconventional way, like bursting through my stomach all on your own, but holy cow you are causing some pain. The contractions are a little insane... Today while grocery shopping, I had to walk so slow I thought I would never make it through the store.  We're talking old person with a walker shuffling along slow. 

Then, at the check out line, the cashier says to me, "Tell me you're due some time soon..."  I reply when I'm due, she looks at my belly, and then she's like, "Twins?"

I'm used to it.  I think I'd be shocked if someone didn't ask me that...

We still don't have a name for you.  It kind of worries me a little, though your dad is quite confident we'll be able to figure out a name.  We really just can't agree.  We don't have a first or a middle name yet...  I think he's hoping I'll buckle during my exhausted moments at the hospital.  But, let it be recorded that I promise not to name you Melvin, Gerald, Raymond, or Lincoln.  So, if your name ends up being any of those, you'll know your dad decided while I was in a coma or something. 

I think I got the final few things today that I felt I needed before you came; pacifiers, crib mattress pad, and new bottles that are bpa free since I didn't have any. 

So, you are free to come now whenever...

As soon as I've packed my bag...

36 Week Stats

Ultrasound today shows baby to be 7lbs. 14 oz. Did I mention I'm 36 weeks? Right on target to be another large baby... 

This is baby's chubby face...  eyes, nose, lips, and chubby cheeks.  Just like you are looking down at him.
 

36 weeks - taken by Mallary, photo bombed by Jonah

 Weight gained:  21 lbs... Pretty good considering with Jonah I gained 60! 

AND... 2 cm. dilated and 50% effaced - a week ago I was nothing...  Will I make it to my induction date????

Pregnancy Diaries

So, I'm 25 or 26 weeks along... That's how you know it's your fourth child, you don't keep track of how far along you are anymore?

I am almost to the same weight I was when I delivered my other kids though I've gained a lot less weight so far. That means I have about three shirts that fit me.  But, if the weather will get cool enough I can start wearing some sweaters!  Oh, the joys of starting out your pregnancy over weight.  So, I'm feeling a little (okay, a lot) heavy and still have three months to go. 

Let me tell you about my "eye-opening" experiences I like to give people.  These are questions I get a lot:

1.  When are you due?  I tell them the end of December, and their eyes get all big. 

usually followed by either of these questions or statements...

2.  Are you having twins?  or Are you sure you just have one in there?  I say no, just one big baby, and their eyes get big again.  And if they push the issue I tell them I have 10 pound babies, and their eyes get all big again. 

3.  Is this your first?  When I answer, 'no, my fourth' - their eyes get ginormous and sometimes their mouth goes open too. 

It always gives me a chuckle. 


My go-to foods these past months have been:

1.  Plain yogurt with fresh fruit (I just recently added a sprinkling of granola, and had to start using our frozen strawberries that we pick in the summer because the fresh ones in the store look disgusting)

2.  Toasted Multi-grain or whole wheat English Muffins (sometimes plain with butter, or if I need the protein I eat it with peanut butter and honey)

3.  Apples (This is not normal for me - peeling and all)

4.  Spaghetti with meat sauce (It always sounds delicious!)

5.  Anything fresh.  Desserts are not tempting to me.  Heavy foods usually sound pretty gross too. 


A few things I've noticed this time around:

1.  My space bubble needs to be a bit bigger than before.  I don't like people sitting so close to me, I just feel like I need more space than normal.  Mallary practically smothers me all the time, and I try to patient and take it, and eventually I have to tell her enough smothering.  I feel like I need to tell people why I'm moving my chair away from them a little bit.  :) 

2.  I don't care if people touch my belly.  I like it better if they ask first... But, I get it, it's like Ripley's Believe it or Not, it's just so out there, I get it.  It used to be so weird, but I don't even care anymore. 

We still don't have a name picked out...  though I like Wyatt, John has not been convinced.

It's a....

BOY!!!!

I found out on July 30th, when I was 18 weeks along.  Mallary was extremely disappointed... 

I don't have any boy names picked out, but it will be fun for Jonah to have a little buddy to play with in a few years.

My nest

So, I've started nesting... 

Our summer house guest left for college, and now I'm nesting! 

I moved Mallary into the guest room, along with her clothes and toys.  She has a toy shelf and a dresser in the guest room closet, other than that it is still the guest room.  :) 

I moved Jonah's clothes into Mallary's old dresser and closet in Trevan's room, and will start transitioning him to the bunk bed in a month or two. 

I've gone through all my kids drawers and cleaned out and organized everything. 

I've started organizing my own room, and unpacking from all our trips starting back in April... Yikes! 

I love it!! 

I was so sick I haven't done anything in my house since May, and it feels so good to see things getting done!!!  And to cook again!!!!!!!  Yay!!!


On another note, our last fish went to his final resting place down the toilet.  Sad day.  (not really for anyone...)

On another, another note, when did my family get big/old enough to eat an entire box of spaghetti noodles for dinner???????  What happened to having leftovers???  So sad!  No wonder why it feels like I'm having to spend more on groceries, because my kids are actually big enough to eat more food...  Jonah eats more than both Trevan and Mallary combined! 

Things are a changin' at the Hamiltons!!

First Ultrasound Visit

5/18/2012

Today at my doctor's appointment there was a couple waiting in the waiting room talking to the woman seated next to them.  I assumed they were the parents of the woman and had joined her for an ultrasound or something. 

Then after listening to their very loud conversation, I realized the young woman was an aquaintance of the couple who just happened to have an appointment the same day. 

The older couple was having twins!!  We're talking about a couple who looks to be in their late 40's early 50's.  They also have a child that is 19... oh my...

Then, they were talking about the "hard part..."

They said, "after 6 months its all easy..." 

Their friend responded, "no after 6 weeks...." 

It took all the energy I could muster not to laugh out loud, and comment "yeah, until they are two, and then four... uh, hello, babies are the easy part; they don't talk back, color on walls, dump out your cabinets, dart across the street when they break free from your hand giving you a heart attack, etc..." 

I just sat there and mentally rolled my eyes at them. 

Cry baby

May 16, 2012


Hormone central at the Hamiltons...

Today I cried while watching the Sound of Music... 

What?!?!?

Yes.  I watched the Sound of Music (fast forwarding through the boring parts), and I cried TWICE!

TWICE!!! 

I've seen that movie a billion times and not cried - EVER, I guess I had never seen it while being pregnant????

Then, my sister called from Hawaii from the crazy huge flea market and asked if I wanted her to pick me up anything.  I asked her to bring back a certain kind of candy for me, then she told me she had already eaten a package of it by herself, and I started crying because I wasn't there to get some yummy candy.

Oh dear...

While I'm talking about my super sniffer...

5/15/12

Taking a nap while pregnant is heavenly.  Taking a nap with two other children roaming around can turn out to be, uh... the opposite of heavenly. 

I don't know what woke me up, I was asleep on the couch while Jonah was down for a nap. 

I started walking up the stairs and the smell drifted down.

I wanted to vomit.

Bad.  Oh so bad.

I still want to vomit thinking about it. 

Mallary had gone in my room and retrieved my perfume.  It smelled like she had poured it in the bath tub and washed herself with it. 

I had to breath through my mouth. 

I told her to give herself a bath.  Giving instructions from the hallway, and then I waited downstairs, and did not go upstairs again until I had to get Jonah, and I held my breath.   

When John came home he gave Mallary and Jonah a bath again, and wiped down the bathroom so I could be able to walk in the room at least. 

I mean, it felt like I was coating my insides with that perfume with every breath I took. 

I don't know when or if I'll ever be able to wear that perfume again.

My Super Sniffer on Senior Citizen Day

May 18, 2012

Note to self:  While pregnant, avoid Harris Teeter on Thursdays, senior citizen discount day... 

The store was filled with the smell of moth balls, Ben Gay, and old lady perfume. 

NO JOKE.

I thought I was going to vomit on more than one occasion, in more than one aisle.

Lesson learned.

Cravings

5/18/12

Right now I crave...

a grilled cheese sandwich
a hotdog with all the works
a hamburger
fried cheesesticks
fruit smoothie
angel food cake
raspberry angel ring
a trifle
stuffed strawberries

(It's a miracle I didn't gain any weight during my first trimester....  At the beginning I really craved hot dogs, meat sauce spaghetti, fruity things, and french fries with ketchup)

My Pregnancy Diary

May 1, 2012

Dear Baby,

I just saw those two pink lines. 

Part of me hopes that it's a sign you'll be a girl, but who knows...

I honestly wasn't sure what would appear on that little screen.  I don't really feel pregnant, and part of that scares me, because it seems the same as when I was pregnant and eventually miscarried.  My fingers are crossed.  I just crossed my toes too for good measure...

But, I just want to tell you how excited I am. 

It doesn't matter that you'll be number four.  You are already so loved.  I can't wait to snugglebug with you! 

Just this morning at breakfast, I watched Trevan and Jonah play at the table, teasing each other, copying each other, and I loved it.  Loved that my kids loved each other, loved that I loved my kids, and in that moment I thought to myself, 'I hope that I'm pregnant.' 

I was hoping to see two lines in March (at the latest), but here we are at the first of May. 

I just want to apologize to you ahead of time for having your birthday at a weird time of the year...  New Year's Eve?  New Year's Day?  I hope it's neither, but if it is, I promise you'll still have great parties! Just so you know, it wasn't in the plan to have a December/January baby.  I really didn't want to do that to you, but apparently I'm not in charge all the time, because by my clock you totally shouldn't have happened when you did...  but I'm not complaining.

So, keep growing.  Just try to keep it under 11 pounds will you?  You don't need to break any records, or my tail bone. 

XOXOXO,

Mom