Thrifty Thursday

Okay, this may be the thriftiest of all my Thrifty Nifties...  Like, super thrifty/frugal. 

1.  Don't use a full dryer sheet in the dryer.  I tear mine in half, and only use one half at a time.  Totally works.  My mom taught me this one. 

2.  Wash your windows with newspapers.  Save your paper towels.  Spray your window cleaner - scrub with your newspaper!  This is what we did as kids, and I just started doing it again so I wouldn't have to use my pricey paper towels.  When I was first married I used to buy them on sale for less than 50 cents a roll... Every now and then, WITH a coupon I can get them to about 50 cents a roll.... 

3.  My Grandma once asked me if I washed out and reused my zip lock bags.  I, of course told her no, and she replied with, "Well, that's why you're poor..."  Yes, that's my Grandma.  But, Grandma would be proud to know that I have started washing out my zip lock bags.  Why was I throwing them away again when they were only a home to some bread??????   Look, how green I've become...  My husband on the other hand is not so excited to be washing out plastic bags...  He's not very excited about being green, and based on Grandma's standards he also likes being poor.  :)

Do you have some more Thrifty Nifties for me? Please share!

No other success...

I know I haven't posted much lately, but I've started a bazillion posts, with a bazillion thoughts... really. Here's one from August 11, 2010.

There's a quote I've been repeating over and over in my head lately. It's by David O'McKay, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." I've been saying it over and over, just like Mallary has to listen to her favorite songs on repeat;

While I'm driving: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." While in the shower: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." When I'm about to lose my mind with Mallary: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." When I'm working: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."<>

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home." "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."

You get the idea.

There are just so many things I want to do, to create, to experience, to achieve... my bucket list is very, very long.

Last night when we went to bed, I told John it was a little depressing that I can't accomplish all that I want to.

"You just try to do too much," he said.

That may be true, but I want so badly to do all those things.

Fast forward to today, October 13, 2010...

And that is where that post ended.

For a couple of weeks I repeated that quote over and over to myself. And over and over and over. Seriously.

I know, I know. "There's a time and season..." But, I want that time to be now, and that season to be summer. Summer's always the most fun, right?

The repeating of the quote must have worked, because I've slown down quite a bit. I don't stress over not being able to get more done quite as much. Would I like to have my house spotless, get more work done, and have more parties (I know. Only I would complain about not having enough parties!!!)? Of course! But, 'no other success can compensate for failure in the home.' The dishes can wait, and so can that zipper headband. There's a diaper to be changed, and a two year old that wants to snuggle. They won't be here forever, and I'll be an empty nester before I know it. I don't want to miss anything, and I think I have been.

A couple of weeks ago, Mallary was playing with the play kitchen, and pretending to cook food. She walked by me, and I asked her if she would come give me hugs. She said no, and I said, "Come snuggle with me!" Her response, "I can't, I'm cooking." And there it was. A flash back to the one hundred times I have told her that.

Lately, I've been trying to really listen to what my kids are saying to me. They'll ask me to do something, but really what they are saying is, "come spend time with me!" I've been making a conscious effort to slow down, so that I can hear them when they're saying that.

As a kid, I used to put on shows in our living room. I didn't have an audience very often, but I would yell to my mom in the kitchen, "I want to show you something!" I keep in mind her responses as my kids ask for similar things.

"Let me rinse off this last dish, and I'll be in."

"Just a second, let me wash my hands."

I can picture her so clearly, entering the living room by way of the dining room, drying her hands on a towel, sitting on the couch, watching me with a smile on her face. I was the most important thing in that moment.

I want my children to have similar memories of me.

Have I told you this story yet?

About four years ago, I was visiting my parents, and my mom probably had just come home from the hospital a few days earlier. She was supposed to be resting and taking it easy. There were strawberries in the garden that needed to be picked, but I told her I would pick them, and that she needed to go upstairs and get in bed.

A little while later, I went upstairs to check on her. I quietly opened her door just a crack, she seemed to be asleep. I couldn't see her face, but could see her outline under the blankets. I started to close the door, and then thought I should make sure she was breathing or something. I tip-toed into the bedroom, but still couldn't see her face, I got closer, then I thought to myself, "wait a second..." I pulled back the blankets and found a pile of pillows!!

That little stinker! I knew exactly where to find her.

"Excuse me!" I called out to her as I walked towards her in the garden. She looked up with that little grin/smirk across her face.

She picked a while longer before I could get her out of the patch, and then I finished picking.

I still love picturing her making the effort to cover the pillows to make it look like she was in bed. I would have loved to watch her face while she knew she was being sneaky! It still makes me smile thinking about it.

My mom never stopped, she was such a hard worker, even when she felt bad!

But really, this is just another story of what a great example of service my mother was; because I didn't realize until later that one reason she went out to pick the strawberries was because she knew I have huge allergy attacks when I pick them. She was willing to work through her discomfort and pain, just so I wouldn't have an allergy attack.

She really was the greatest.

No other success...

I know I haven't posted much lately, but I've started a bazillion posts, with a bazillion thoughts... really. Here's one from August 11, 2010.

There's a quote I've been repeating over and over in my head lately. It's by David O'McKay, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." I've been saying it over and over, just like Mallary has to listen to her favorite songs on repeat;

While I'm driving: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." While in the shower: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." When I'm about to lose my mind with Mallary: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." When I'm working: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."<>

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home." "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."

You get the idea.

There are just so many things I want to do, to create, to experience, to achieve... my bucket list is very, very long.

Last night when we went to bed, I told John it was a little depressing that I can't accomplish all that I want to.

"You just try to do too much," he said.

That may be true, but I want so badly to do all those things.

Fast forward to today, October 13, 2010...

And that is where that post ended.

For a couple of weeks I repeated that quote over and over to myself. And over and over and over. Seriously.

I know, I know. "There's a time and season..." But, I want that time to be now, and that season to be summer. Summer's always the most fun, right?

The repeating of the quote must have worked, because I've slown down quite a bit. I don't stress over not being able to get more done quite as much. Would I like to have my house spotless, get more work done, and have more parties (I know. Only I would complain about not having enough parties!!!)? Of course! But, 'no other success can compensate for failure in the home.' The dishes can wait, and so can that zipper headband. There's a diaper to be changed, and a two year old that wants to snuggle. They won't be here forever, and I'll be an empty nester before I know it. I don't want to miss anything, and I think I have been.

A couple of weeks ago, Mallary was playing with the play kitchen, and pretending to cook food. She walked by me, and I asked her if she would come give me hugs. She said no, and I said, "Come snuggle with me!" Her response, "I can't, I'm cooking." And there it was. A flash back to the one hundred times I have told her that.

Lately, I've been trying to really listen to what my kids are saying to me. They'll ask me to do something, but really what they are saying is, "come spend time with me!" I've been making a conscious effort to slow down, so that I can hear them when they're saying that.

As a kid, I used to put on shows in our living room. I didn't have an audience very often, but I would yell to my mom in the kitchen, "I want to show you something!" I keep in mind her responses as my kids ask for similar things.

"Let me rinse off this last dish, and I'll be in."

"Just a second, let me wash my hands."

I can picture her so clearly, entering the living room by way of the dining room, drying her hands on a towel, sitting on the couch, watching me with a smile on her face. I was the most important thing in that moment.

I want my children to have similar memories of me.

A posterity post on cooking

I was talking to my Grandma on the phone, and I told her it was okay if she wanted to retire from cooking, because I was sure she had paid her dues. She then told me that she cooked her first meal when she was seven years old! SEVEN! Her grandmother was sick, and asked her to make some potato soup. My Grandma remembers putting the pot of potatoes on the stove (she said she thinks her grandmother must have peeled them, because she didn't remember doing that part), and adding the thickener, and everything. Seven years old... Unfortunately, I think the only thing kids might know how to do these days is push start on the microwave.

I can remember watching my mom cook from an early age. She taught me how to dice vegetables, cut the fat off of chicken, how to cut a whole chicken (which I never do), mix the wet ingredients then add the dry, etc. It was often our jobs to peel the potatoes, or carrots. I spent a lot of time observing both my parents cooking, my dad was mostly breakfasts on weekends. When we were younger, often, during the summer months, we were assigned a night to make dinner. We had to plan it, and prepare it. How smart of a mom was she? I remember one summer, my go to dessert was the no bake cheesecake recipe (back in the days my mom actually bought Cool Whip, before we solely stuck to whipping cream). Let's just say she prepared me well to leave home and be able to cook for myself.

As I got a little older I would find these new recipes to try, and my mom wouldn't have the exact ingredients, and she would say, "That's okay, you can use this instead, or we can sub this for that." I would freak out, "No, we have to do it exactly to the recipe!" Now, I am experienced enough to be able to say, "Oh, I can use this instead of this, etc. etc." Her teaching, though sometimes just through my observation, has allowed me to become the experimenter I am today.

Almost always when I start to cook, and my children are aware of it, I hear the chairs being pushed across the kitchen. They usually push the chairs to wherever we are cooking, and climb on so they can see, or help. Overall, I think I always let them, there are those times when I'm either almost done, or in such a hurry I can't deal with them being on top of me. But, I love that they are interested. I think it's important to help them stay interested so I can help them be better prepared for when they are on their own. Sure, they are really young, but like I said, I started when I was really young too.

I must say, last week when we were making crepes, I had a proud moment when Trevan knew when the crepes were ready to be flipped over, all on his own. A five year old that can make a good crepe. Well done son.

Throw away your mops

Two nights ago, I mentioned to John that our kitchen floors needed a good scrubbing. I used the word scrubbing for a reason...

So, he mopped the floor with our Swiffer wet jet thingy. (Yes, along with everything else he does, he also cleans the kitchen floor. But, don't forget I spend time almost every day cleaning the kitchen floor...)

Anyway, the next morning I come downstairs and actually look at the floor (I didn't after he mopped it) and it didn't really look any different even though he totally mopped it. I called him at work "just to mention" that he missed the keyword in my request - scrub.

So, I was throwing a baby shower last night and I wanted the floors to be clean. So, I pulled out the scrub brush and the Fantastic (it really is) and went to work. I scrubbed on my hands and knees for two, (yes, 2) hours. I think yesterday was the only time I had ever thought my kitchen might be too big...

Look at the difference...

Isn't that gross? Keep in mind, the right side of that floor was mopped the night before this picture was taken!! I honestly think John thought our floors were actually tan colored and not cream colored. (I had to take a picture to show him the difference. And, don't get me wrong, I love that my husband cleans the floors and I've learned to let my philosophy be 'beggars can't be choosers' - if he's going to do it, I won't complain, but when it gets to a certain point, I have to step in. Maybe that was his plan all along...)

So, last night as I knelt on the floor to push presents to the person I was throwing a shower for, I about died - my knees are completely bruised.

I woke up this morning feeling like I went rock climbing for the first time. Don't know what that feels like? How about what you felt like the first time you went snowboarding, or like how you feel after you've shoveled heavy, wet snow a really long time? That is what I felt like. My arms, shoulders, and neck still hurt, my fingers hurt, and my poor little, weird shaped, knees hurt. Scrubbing a floor is quite the workout.

Moral of the story - My mom was right, floors always look better when you clean it on your hands and knees. Mops don't quite get the job done. You have to use a little more "elbow grease."

Blogging Book Club

Discussing: The Power of Kindness by Piero Ferrucci
Chapter 2: WARMTH - The Temperature of Happiness

"Everyday, countless people die or die a little bit for want of warmth; children left alone; underpaid and exploited workers; old people, lonely and forgotten by everyone in the anonymous world of big cities. And every day, thousands of people compensate for their chronic loveless state by all kinds of substitutes: filling themselves with food, pursuing loveless sex, seeking illusory happiness in the wonderlands of consumerism, or becoming violent." (p.28)

My mother's hands were always icy, but her aura exuded warmth. I know that is one reason why people loved her so much. The kindness in her eyes was the warmth overflowing from her soul, and people could see that. Like the author says, "Warmth then becomes a metaphor. It is no longer just a biological necessity, it is a quality we see in someone's eyes, hear in her voice, sense in the way she greets us. It is at the very heart of kindness." (p.31) That is something I miss from my mom, her very presence was warm and loving. If she were silent I could still feel her love for me.

The author relayed a story about when his grandfather died that I could totally relate to, "I was riding, for the first time in my life, in the car carrying the coffin. From it I could see how the outside world was responding to our passage. It was a clearly visible reaction. People stopped and let us pass, some took their hats off, some made the sign of the cross. It signified respect and recognition: Someone had died and others were in mourning. I felt comforted: Death was no longer a lonely event." (p.33) The author then tells us that 30 years later his mother died, same city, itinerary, and procedure, and no one even paused. "I felt I was in a colder, more distracted world." (p.34)

I had been telling John for years that when he sees a funeral procession he needs to stop, pull over, etc., he has never believed me or listened to me. After my mom's funeral, we drove to the cemetery, and John was shocked; all the cars in front of us were pulling over, and all the cars coming in the opposite direction stopped and pulled over. I still get goosebumps thinking about it today. They were showing their respect, and it felt good. I thought my mom deserved to have the whole world stop in that moment, not just my town, and seeing those motorists stop really did fill me with warmth.

Recently, a funeral procession came through an intersection I was stopped at already, and most people stopped, but when the light turned green someone honked, and another person went through, I honestly wanted to put my car in park, get out of the car and tell someone off. That wouldn't have been showing my "warmth," but it bugs me that people can't take a second of their lives to show a little respect. (I gave them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they weren't aware of the reason we were all stopped...)

This chapter had a lot of interested points and parallels, I'll leave you with just one more... "When we stroke a purring cat, who is giving and who is receiving warmth? Or, when we enjoy someone's company, who is warmed by the relationship? And when we hold a newborn baby, who gives and who receives the tenderness? If we give warmth, we do not end up feeling cold. The benefit is symmetrical. In giving our warmth - and so too our vital presence, our positive, nonjudgmental attitude, our heart - we can bring into the lives of those near to us vital, sometimes extraordinary, changes. And we, too, do not remain unchanged." (p.37)

That must be one reason why my mother was so extraordinary.

Thrifty Thursday

It's double coupons at Harris Teeter up to $1.98 this week.
That's what I'm talking about!

So, I went yesterday:

Saved $21.55 using 12 coupons

Saved 49.56 in store savings (BIGIF's and 2fers)

Total savings of about $70!

Spent $64.

I save as much as I spend!

At the beginning of the month they had triple coupons, and here was one of my visits:

Saved $20.68 using 10 coupons

Saved, get this, $113.15 in store savings

Total savings of about $133!

Spent $133.20

The cashier had to call for a manager because I saved so much, she's like you saved A LOT of money.

Spending $133.20 may not seem like saving a lot of money, but I bought A TON of meat and got shrimp, AND my buggy (yes, it's a buggy) was completely full of other stuff too. Hello? My total would have been twice that!

Here's my method, written down to pass on from generation to generation. My mom taught me, (My dad is good at saving money too. When I told him about my recent savings, he tells me he went to the store last night and the cart total came up to $24 or something and he only spent $4.) I use her same method, but utilize the Internet instead of looking through the fliers. Though I will still do that on occasion, but it's rare.

First, I save coupons. Honestly, I'm not religious about it, but if I am thinking about it I will get a Sunday paper and cut the coupons, but only coupons for stuff I use. Some people spend more money in the long run because they stock up on things that they don't really need or use, and a lot of the coupons out there are for unhealthy food. I go grocery shopping and have coupons as a bonus, some people go to the store just to use coupons. Does that make any sense? It's the "Have coupons must use them" mentality. (Sometimes when I am at the grocery store and I have a coupon that will expire that day, (like save $5 on a purchase of $40 or more, some people would make sure to spend the $40, but I won't if I don't need anything else, or if there are no good sales, etc. I won't buy more just to get to the $40, ultimately making me spend more money.) or the next day and decide I won't be using it, I become the coupon fairy and start giving them to strangers shopping next to me, or in the check out line. That's always fun! I even sometimes when someone has picked up something and I know it's on a crazy good sale somewhere else, I'm the crazy lady that says, "Those are on sale for X amount at X store." I've always got a positive response. Just trying to do my duty as a money saving citizen... we're in a recession you know.)

Second, I buy sale items. Every week (Wednesday actually), I go online to the stores I shop at and view their weekly fliers and print off my shopping list just from what is on sale. I do that for all three grocery stores that I go to (and also compare those lists to some drug store prices). In the olden days I would take that (but the real fliers) and go to Wal-Mart and price match, but the Wal-Mart's here aren't as lenient as the one in Utah was, so I don't do it very often anymore. So, now I will go to all three stores (but, honestly I don't go to all three stores every week, actually not very often anymore. But, if the deals were good enough I would. FYI all stores are within 7 minutes from my house, so I am not running around far away.). I take all the shopping lists from every store with me into each of the stores I go to, so if I come across an unadvertised sale, I can compare it with what is on sale at the other store to see which price is better (or compare the meat per pound prices). Sometimes, I just take them with me to Wal-Mart to see if it is cheaper than Wal-Mart or not.

Third, I shop and cook from my pantry. Meaning, I stock up on items I use frequently when they are on sale, and try to cook my meals based on what I have in my freezer and pantry, only having to run out to get some of the fresh ingredients I don't already have. Though, I used to go a little crazy on this. Now, I try to stick within a grocery budget and only spend a certain amount so if I want to really stock up on something that is on sale, I have to cut something else off my list or just not buy as much.

So, my method isn't really anything new or grandiose, but it works. I learned by watching my mom. But now, if I were to die tomorrow my children will at least have my method written down to read. Heavens knows if they only have John's method to learn from they won't have any money, and they'll only be eating cereal, a sugary sweet cereal, and chocolate milk.

I love grocery shopping! I told John it won't matter if we are loaded one day, I will still shop the same. Seriously. It's all about the thrill of the hunt, and seeing your total savings at the bottom of that receipt.

Why pay more if you could pay less? (I'm sure that is from an advertisement somewhere)

Happy 100th Post

This is my 100th post. (Those Hawaii posts really gave me a boost.) Blogging has really helped me in my efforts to becoming a better person. Starting my morning writing about how I want to be really keeps me in check. It is a lot easier for me to be patient, more positive, and more kind when I just wrote about it that morning. Those thoughts stay in my head all day. I am trying to be like my mom, and I may be a tad bit closer than I was before.

I will admit I am often a little nervous about sounding braggadocios or self righteous, please know it is not written in that manner. I am just trying to be a little better today than I was yesterday, and trying to become more like my mom whom I so admire. I know it seems I make it sound like she was perfect, but she wasn't;

She never walked on water, she could barely even swim,

But, she tried to love perfectly.

She didn't always wear the latest fashions,

But, she always wore a smile, and that never goes out of style.

She wasn't the most organized person,

But, she always had room in her schedule to help someone at a moments notice.

She often forgot where she put her glasses or her purse,

But, she always remembered everyone in her prayers.

She was usually running late, rarely showing up on time,

But, she took the time to stop doing whatever it was that she was doing to watch my "performances" in the living room when I was younger.

I'm sure she had her fair share of bad days and moments,

But, I never heard her complain about them.

She wasn't Martha Stewart,

But, she was a good cook and made us well-balanced meals (from scratch, I might add) to eat together as a family.

She didn't have a masters degree or work at a fancy job,

But, serving others requires no diploma and some of her "work" speaks for itself (I think so far we've all turned out half decent).

She wasn't known for her green thumb (or lack thereof),

But, I think she planted a lot of other good seeds.

She planted good seeds not just in my family, but I think with everyone she came across. My mom wasn't perfect, but she had a huge impact on my life. I knew she also touched a lot of other lives, but when we followed her casket into the packed chapel that was overflowing into the gym, and I watched the tears fall down the cheeks of those we passed, I knew my life wasn't the only life she affected. I have a sweet memory of driving past the policeman (a family friend) standing stoically with tears falling down his face while blocking the oncoming traffic as we pulled into the cemetary. It was a really touching reminder to me just how loved my mother was, and how much she loved others.

I write because she touched my life and I want to be like her, and I want my children to be like her. I blog because I think she lived a life worth sharing. So, that's what I'm going to do.

Don't tell me

Vision Board Highlight: I can

'I can,' is a pretty broad statement, and it is on my vision board more than once. To me it is a reminder that I can do anything I put my mind to. Right now, I'm making a conscious effort not to say anything that isn't nice about someone else.

"Those who gossip to you, gossip about you." I'm sure you've heard that saying. I think my mother would remind me of that quote, but I can't be sure. We could count on hearing her voice, even coming from another room, "Are you girls gossiping?" if she heard our conversations being even remotely gossipy.

I can honestly say, I never heard my mother say something bad about anyone. However, once I did hear her saying a certain teacher should not be teaching at a high school with his rude, sexist, etc. behavior. She didn't really bash his character in front of us, she thought his behavior to be inappropriate and taught us that we shouldn't tolerate behavior like that. (She did share that sentiment with the high school principal as well, which my parents only did that one time, as far as I know, out of all five of their kids schooling.) The only other time I can remember her getting worked up like that was when she got some VERY bad customer service at a store, I forget which one. But, she didn't bash the lady, she just kept saying what customer service should be like (the only job she ever had was in retail after she got married, so she felt strongly about customer service). You just didn't hear my mom complain about other people or what they were doing, or say unkind things about others, it just was not her. She always gave others the benefit of the doubt, and John is really good at that too. He also won't repeat stuff he has heard to me, because he doesn't want me to alter my opinion of a person based on that. I have tried to get him to tell me stuff, and he won't. He's so good.

I remember when this talk was given in General Conference in 1999, another phrase my mom started using was, "Is their name safe in our home?" She also always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Seriously, we heard these things a lot.

Once I was visiting my parents (probably about two years ago) and my sister told us that someone we knew was pregnant, and then my mom said, "I know of someone else that might be pregnant too."

We were like, "Who?"
"I can' t tell you because I don't know for sure if they are or not," she said.
"So. Just tell us," I said.
"No, that would be gossiping. I shouldn't have said anything at all."
"Mom, if you tell us you don't know for sure if they are or not then technically it is not gossiping, and I don't even live here, so not like I would tell anyone," I said trying to get her to crack. She didn't. She was that serious about not gossiping.

I was that serious about not gossiping once too. I was in sixth grade, and you know how sixth grade girls are, mean. Well, one of my friends, Cassandra (names have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent) kept talking about another one of our friends, Michelle. I told Michelle that Cassandra had been talking about her, and she didn't believe me. I devised a plan, so that she would believe me. That night, I got my dad's mini tape recorder, a blank tape, and packed it in my back pack. The next day during reading time, with the tape recorder under my shirt I approached Cassandra on the reading carpet and proceeded to record her on tape talking about Michelle. It was that easy, and I was that sneaky. Then I played it for Michelle, who then got mad at Cassandra, who then got mad at me, who then told her mother, who then told our home room teacher, who then went with the mother and told the principal, who then called me in her office. I almost got suspended people! It was the wrong mother to upset, seriously.

Just think if we went around thinking people were tape recording us talking about someone else and that it would get back to them, how nice we would all be.

I have been really trying not to gossip, not to judge, and not to say unkind things about people. I've been doing pretty good, but I can do better. I really don't enjoy being around people that are judgey and gossipy, that negativity literally sucks the life right out of me, so I don't want to do that to someone else either. I can be gossip free, my mom was proof that a human can do it. So, I can too.

There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it ill behooves any of us
To find fault with the rest of us.
(Hazel Felleman, sel., The Best Loved Poems of the American People [1936], 615)

You can help me. If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, please don't say it in my presence, and don't you allow me to say it either. You have my permission to call me out! Please, hold me accountable. Feel free to pull out your tape recorders and put them on my table. Seriously.

I want your name to be safe in my home.

Nifty Thrifty Thursday

Mission Accomplished: I have officially become like my mother.

My mother taught me to shop year end clearance sales. Now I share this wisdom with you. For my kids, I shop during the year end clearance sales for next year. Then the next year I just fill in the gaps from what I didn't purchase last year. Last week, I got out all of their clothes for this summer, took off the tags and washed them. (Needless to say Mallary's wardrobe this summer will be mainly from Old Navy) Do you see the prices on those tags? Well, that is not the price I paid (most of the time). I use my Gap card and purchase during the 20% off sales, Stuff and Save Sales, and usually every now and then they have the 50% off clearance prices. (and don't you worry, my Gap card has never ever not been paid off) So, yes. That is 20% off of 2.99. You can't even buy clothes that cheap at thrift stores, and cheaper than dear Target. Sure, they aren't wearing this seasons fashions, but who really cares? I think they are still very, very cute!!

You may be worried that you don't know what size your child will wear next year, but really you can guesstimate. You can judge how fast your child grows by how much they have grown already. Are they a size ahead right now? Most likely (not always) they will be a size ahead next year too. I have only been burned three times. That's pretty good considering I have two children, and Trevan turns five this year. That's a pretty good track record. But, I have gotten burned, three times I said, and here is the third.

I got home from Hawaii, and Mallary's feet had grown while I was gone. All of her shoes were too small. Well, last year I bought these cute shoes at Gymboree on sale for her to wear this year (shoes are admittedly a little trickier, that was burn number two as well) so I went to get them out thinking they would be perfect. (This is where I have turned into my mother) I tried them on Mallary's feet about two months ago, and they were still too big, so I put them back in her shoe rack, then totally forgot about them (my mother)! Of course, just my luck, the shoes were too small!!!! I was so mad at myself for forgetting about them!! But, now I will have a cute pair of unused shoes to pass on to the next baby girl I have, unless I forget about them then too... and I didn't mind having to go shopping to get her some new kicks...

Her new shoes are soo cute!!

Emilys Post

Last week, I finally mailed my thank you cards from Christmas. A little late, I know. I have had quite a few of them written for a long time. Some of them waited patiently on my ironing board to be mailed, and then carelessly left on the floor in my bedroom waiting to be addressed. It’s pathetic.

Emily Post’s, Etiquette states this: The two most important things to strive for when writing thank-you notes are sincerity and promptness.

At least I got the sincerity part.

I seem to have gotten worse over the years with thank you cards. I think it is because the older I get the more indebted I feel to everyone. Have you noticed some thank you cards are just harder to write than others? I have decided that is what really delays me. Sometimes a thank you card doesn’t seem like enough. Like it doesn’t really show the depth of my gratitude, and I feel silly writing pitiful words. I really struggle writing thank you cards for things that really mean a lot to me, usually to my parents. Words sometimes cannot adequately express my thanks, just like when you can’t find that perfect gift to tell someone they mean so much to you.

My mom taught us to send thank you cards for everything. Every Christmas we had to sit down and write our thank you cards.

If I had found this when I was a kid I would have read it to her, “In general, a thank-you is expected for any gift not opened in the giver’s presence, (but I would have stopped there) but it’s a good idea to have your child write notes for most presents, even if she thanked the givers in person.” (From Emily Post’s, Etiquette)

Also from Etiquette: Children who are familiarized with thank-you notes early are less likely to regard this essential courtesy as a chore, and teaching should begin well before children can write.

It was a chore to watch my mother write thank you cards. Thank you cards were hard for her to write. She wanted them to be perfect. Have you ever known someone to write rough drafts for thank you cards? She did, sometimes multiple drafts. She wanted them to be thoughtful and personal, to really show her appreciation, and to be error free. I think most of us never really got it. “Mom, write thank you, why you appreciate it, what you did with it, and that’s it.” It does seem simple doesn’t it?

As I looked over some of the thank you cards she has written me, they all brought me to tears. They aren’t just thank you cards. They are “you are the best cards,” “you can do it cards,” “I love you so much cards,” and so on. “Thank you” just happens to be written on the outside of the card, her love is on the inside.

From Etiquette: Two characteristics distinguish a well-written note: personality and genuine interest in others.

Even though my mother was writing to thank me for something, she was showing her genuine interest in me. I think that is why thank you cards were so hard for her. They weren’t just thank you cards; the thank you card was another way to tell the person she was writing she loved them.

My brother, Jeryl, is the epitome of showing personality in thank you cards. I couldn’t find the more recent funny ones, but here are some examples his personality,

“Thanks for the gifts you sent by your little elves. Heather really loves her head ornament (I gave her a hat). Heather is appreciative of the napkins, the napkin rings, and the book. Jeryl tries to be dainty when he uses the napkins.”

“Also, thanks for all the great fun we had. Volleyball, Rook, Balderdash, Risk (Jeryl apologizes to John for allowing Jon to take Europe without a struggle), and all the other games were wonderful.”

I enjoy the hand-made thank you cards from my nieces and nephews too. This one is from my nephew, Lanning.




Also, from Etiquette: Express appreciation for the specific gift or kindness.

Have you ever received a thank you card, and it was just generic, not even mentioning the gift you took time to pick out, or even make? I don’t give a gift just to receive the thanks, but I must admit to feeling a little slighted that they wouldn’t mention it, or what they thought about it. I often think, “they must have hated it or they would have mentioned it.” I will admit though, I have mailed off a thank you card and two days later realized I forgot something that I should have said thank you for. (sorry if it was your thank you card) We shouldn’t take offense, obviously, if we receive cards like that, now I just try to think they must have forgot to mention it. Emily Post just reminds us we need to mention it. Sometimes we don’t mention it all by not sending a thank you note. Once again, I try to keep in mind sometimes our brains are fried and we forget. (once again, sorry it it was your thank you card I forgot)

Etiquette states, “There are no hard-and-fast rules about the content of thank-you notes...”

I think the one hard-and-fast rule is just to say it, and remember that sometimes it means more than just “thank you.”

Nifty Thrifty Thursday

Who? Me? A shopaholic?

No...

Okay, guilty as charged.

But, it’s a genetic pre-disposition.

Seriously. No nature vs. nurture argument here.

Okay, maybe a little of both.

My mother loved to shop, and her mother loved to shop, and I’m not sure about her mother, but shopping is in our blood. Just ask my sisters or my dad. We can shop, and we do. (although, I have been A LOT better recently)

My mother trained me in the art of shopping when I was just a little girl (as I now train my children). I was one of her shopping buddies to Leggets (the only larger store we had growing up - it is now called Belk), and to Corning Revere (why my love of dishes started early). Mom taught me how to be a smart shopper. She was the Queen of bargain shopping, also Queen of the yard sale.

The last week my mom was in the hospital, she wasn't able to really communicate, and she stayed pretty sedated because of her pain. It was a Friday, and I leaned over close to her and said, "Mom, if you would just get better right now, I promise I will take you yard sale-ing all day tomorrow." I half expected her eyes to open, or for a smile to creep across her face. But, no such luck.

She went yard sale-ing even if she felt horrible, I think shopping is a therapy for us. She could have felt awful, but the moment she started yard sale-ing or stepped into a TJ Maxx, she would get a burst of energy. I am the same way. I could shop all day and not eat anything. When I was pregnant, I could go into a store exhausted, but get a second wind before I even hit the first rack. I was in labor with Trevan and didn't realize it while I was shopping with my mom. Every now and then I would have to sit down and rest, and mom would say, "maybe we should go home," and I would be like, "let's just stop into one more store..." We even got in the car to go home and we ended up at the mall...

We are shoppers. Luckily, though, my mother taught me how to be thrifty. I would consider my self a very smart shopper, and a thrifty person. So, I have decided that on Thursdays I will give a Nifty Thrifty Tip. Some of my tips, may not really be tips to you, but you can read along anyway.

Here is today's Nifty Thrifty tip:

(though not a new concept, but one way I save money)

I buy clothes a little bit bigger. Not for myself, but for my kids. For example, this outfit is a 2T, my daughter isn’t quite 18 months. Though the outfit is a little big, you can’t really tell. Right? (just say no) The tights are really supposed to be capris and the green top should hit above her knees, I think, but it still looks cute like this - and will fit her through the summer. Most of her and Trevan’s clothes are like that. Also, when Mallary outgrows her dresses, I then have her wear them as shirts with leggings. Of course, not every dress works like that, but a lot do. A few sundresses from last year will be cute flowy shirts this year. Viola!

And that, my friends, is just one way I stretch a dollar.

Random Acts of Kindness

This is what I found in my mailbox on Saturday.

Here's the story:

John and I don't have "real" cell phones. We use the kinds you have to pay for as you use them. They are only for emergencies (like when I find a great deal while shopping, I call him to say, "I think we need these Christmas dishes."). We take them with us when we travel, but they are rarely turned on.

Recently, we lost my cell phone, or I should say John lost my cell phone. I then got an email that said it was past time to top up (pay for your continued service). I didn't want to pay for my cell phone if it was somewhere smashed in a parking lot. So, we looked and looked and never found. The thing is, if you don't top up, you lose your service, and can't get the same phone number back, or something like that. So, I gave up.

Last Friday, John finds the cell phone, in a place I had looked three times. Saturday, I open the mailbox and find that my phone had been given a free $10 top up. WHAT?? They saved my phone from losing service! Thank you Virgin Mobile! I love your rockin' customer service, and your random acts of kindness.

It made me feel so good, as if I had won the lottery or something, not just $10. Coincidentally, I have been thinking about random acts of service recently because of part of a show I watched last week, ABC's, What Would You Do? THIS video clip brought me to tears! It is well worth the ENTIRE seven minutes to watch, and ask yourself, "What would you do?" So, stop reading this, and watch the video, then you can come back and finish reading. Or, just watch the video and don't come back, but watch the video.

From an early age I witnessed my mom performing random acts of kindness. I have no doubt, that my mom would have been a Linda Hamilton from the video.

Once, while waiting for a layover in a Chicago train station my mother was approached by a woman asking for money, my mother declined, but instead took her to a place in the station and fed her breakfast. The thing is, she didn't just buy her breakfast, she sat with her while she ate, and then of all things gave the woman, a complete stranger, a hug and a kiss when they parted. (My mom had no problem giving people she had just met a kiss on the cheek, she was a tiny bundle of love, my mom.) The story does not stop here. She was then approached by a mother with a little girl who also asked for money, she took them and fed them too

In recent emails, my dad has shared some other random acts of service my mother rendered.

"One time your mother had me turn around and go back because I hadn't stopped and given a man holding a sign wanting money. She said I had missed an easy chance to serve and receive blessings."

In another email, he sent this, I don't know if it was the same man asking for money or not;

"Mom told me once when I questioned whether it was appropriate to give some money to a well dressed man in Santa Barbara, CA. who sat on the pier and asked us. She said, "We are not here to judge, we are here to serve!" I went to give the man some money."

On family vacations we often stopped and ate meals, picnic style, at public parks. We were often approached by people asking for food, and while I was a little leary having "these" people so close to us, my mother and father would treat them as if they were a guest in our home, not taking a second thought to it, preparing them a sandwhich and piling chips onto a plate for them. I remember once, one man just kept saying, "I could just tell you were good people," and "I knew you were good Christian people." One man even said to my father, "You must be a preacher or a pastor or something." Even though I was always a little nervous (remember, I'm paranoid. Even back then), I remember feeling so good inside, and proud that my parents were such kind people.

Don't we sometimes think we are better than people we see holding signs asking for money? If I am being honest, I do. I imagine myself saying to the person, "The MacDonald's you are standing next to has a 'Now Hiring" sign in the window." I don't always think that, but I am a little embarrassed to admit that I do sometimes. But, usually the thought of my mother makes me feel guilty that I don't have a granola bar to offer out of the window. That is one thing I loved about that video clip, Linda Hamilton, a sometimes homeless person, was the one that was "better" than all of those passerbys that day.

Sure, occassionally I hand change out of the window, but not often enough. I do it more often if John is driving, I am a slightly paranoid person. Another time, I just thought of (I told you there may be long posts) we were driving to California with my sister in law, and we were in the middle of Nevada, driving slowly, getting ready to pass an accident on the side of the road. We could see it looked like a mother and a few children standing out in the heat. Automatically, my sister in law said, "we should give them some water and snacks for the kids." So, we gathered some stuff up and handed it to them. I was embarrassed I didn't think of it first.

There have been so many times where I have talked to a friend on the phone in the morning and heard they were sick or had a cold, and I would end the conversation with, "hope you feel better." Later that evening, or a day later it would hit me, "I should have made them some soup or something." It really bugs me that that would not be my first thought after hanging up the phone when talking to them. I know my mother would have thought of that.

So, my challenge for myself today is to perform a random act of kindness, and it could be more than one "act" of kindness. I will report back to you on Wednesday. Feel free to play along. You can report back here, or put it on your own blog. Today, I am going to pay it forward (thank you, Virgin Mobile), pass it on, and look for ways I can perform random acts of service.