May 1, 2012
Dear Baby,
I just saw those two pink lines.
Part of me hopes that it's a sign you'll be a girl, but who knows...
I honestly wasn't sure what would appear on that little screen. I don't really feel pregnant, and part of that scares me, because it seems the same as when I was pregnant and eventually miscarried. My fingers are crossed. I just crossed my toes too for good measure...
But, I just want to tell you how excited I am.
It doesn't matter that you'll be number four. You are already so loved. I can't wait to snugglebug with you!
Just this morning at breakfast, I watched Trevan and Jonah play at the table, teasing each other, copying each other, and I loved it. Loved that my kids loved each other, loved that I loved my kids, and in that moment I thought to myself, 'I hope that I'm pregnant.'
I was hoping to see two lines in March (at the latest), but here we are at the first of May.
I just want to apologize to you ahead of time for having your birthday at a weird time of the year... New Year's Eve? New Year's Day? I hope it's neither, but if it is, I promise you'll still have great parties! Just so you know, it wasn't in the plan to have a December/January baby. I really didn't want to do that to you, but apparently I'm not in charge all the time, because by my clock you totally shouldn't have happened when you did... but I'm not complaining.
So, keep growing. Just try to keep it under 11 pounds will you? You don't need to break any records, or my tail bone.
XOXOXO,
Mom
