A hard test.
Almost every question is hard - even a struggle.
Occassionally you come to a question that you you can answer with ease. Then you move on to the next question with renewed confidence.
But, then you come to a question that brings your test taking to a halt.
You think to yourself, "Did we even go over this?" "This wasn't in the chapter!" or, "I don't remember this in the notes when I was cramming last night!"
The question makes you feel helpless.
Your brain goes blank.
After staring at it for a few minutes, you skip it. There are a lot more questions you have to do that with.
At the end of the test, you go back to try and answer all those skipped questions. You answer the questions the best that you can; either by process of elimination, or total guessing.
You turn in your test knowing your grade won't be very good.
You leave the testing center feeling a little drained, and a little helpless - or maybe even hopeless.
That's how I felt yesterday.
I sat on the couch nursing Jonah, while Mallary proceeded to do all the things she knows she isn't supposed to do. (a common occurance...)
There are moments I give up. Yesterday, I seriously just looked at her not knowing how else to get through to her. I just ignored her as she continued her bad behavior, too tired to figure out another threat, bribe, or anything. I wanted to quit. My brain went blank, and I felt helpless. Can't I just skip this problem?
She is literally testing me, and I don't know what the answers are.
I have the same feeling that I did when I left the testing center after one of those hard tests...
Defeated.
Though, most likely back then, I didn't really care that much about my grades.
I care now.
This Mallary class isn't just one semester. It's a life-er.
I am now a professional student,
and I feel like I'm failing.
(Don't worry. I think I just need to be willing
to put down Jonah and carry her up to her
room for time out, because she doesn't like that.
The only thing is I'm too lazy/tired/occupied/sore to
do it. I just need to suck it up, and I'm sure Jonah
won't even mind the intermission... We'll see.)
2 comments:
Don't worry - you get to retake the test every day - if that's a consolation!
But really, she's only two; it's not likely that you'll permanently mess her up no matter what you don't do.
How about a time-out place downstairs, so you don't have to lug her up so often?
True.
Oh, she gets put in time out downstairs plenty, she just HATES time out in her room!
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