Loving

PART II: LOVING IT

(Taken from my front porch. It was a double COMPLETE rainbow! Of course my good camera's batteries weren't charged, and this was the only picture my other stupid camera would take, so I didn't even get a picture of the whole rainbow!)

So, my mothering feelings were headed downhill... really, they were. Then, Trevan started Kindergarten (that post to come), and let me tell you I'm a brand new woman! It was my rainbow after some very rainy days!!

The mornings have been so peaceful!! I even found myself smiling! Isn't that so sad? I was feeding Jonah and watching Mallary play, she would talk to me, and I realized I was smiling! It's just been so crazy these past few months, now I wonder if I've been smiling at all at home!!! It feels nice to have some calm back in the house. If Mallary starts to make a fuss over something, I can now talk to her and reason with her. Whereas before my nerves were so shot I couldn't make the effort. People call my house and it's actually quiet in the background. That is quite unusual. I love it! I love having this quiet time with Mallary to remind me that I really do like her... She plays quietly with dinosaurs and transformers. I think she likes having the toys to herself without her brother taking them from her. She sings to herself and dances. I try to dance with her, but she doesn't like me to.

It's just been so peaceful. I can feel my old mothering self coming back out, and it's nice... until after Trevan's been home for about two hours from school, then the screaming and whining returns. But, we'll work on that.

It's crazy that I have a child in school, but I'm loving it. I love feeling like I'm a capable mother again.

I just checked on my two babies taking their naps. Jonah in his crib, and Mallary snuggled in my bed. I just love them, and love being their mother.

But, I still love nap time.