Mallary The Dog Whisperer

My neighbors are so nice and let Mallary walk their dogs with them. I thought it was so cute to look down the street and see her with my neighbor walking the dogs.

When they got back from the walk Chris told me that Mallary told him that she wanted two cats, but that her dad was allergic.  Then she added, "but I think he's tricking me."  Too funny.  John does not like cats.  Mallary wants two cats and two dogs. 

Someday when she gets her own house... 

Lucky?

This afternoon I checked my work email and one of the subjects in an email stated, "You won't believe your luck!" After the morning I had just had, 'lucky' was not the word I would have used.

The morning started off with Mallary dumping her whole bowl of cereal onto the table, which of course ended up in the floor. The floor that John just cleaned on Saturday night... Where was I you ask? I was nursing Jonah. Mallary takes advantage of those situations.

What made that even more special is, of course, this morning I got the kids dressed BEFORE breakfast because after breakfast we were going shopping...

for a new refrigerator!

Yes. Our food is in coolers. Our fridge has given us problems since the day we moved into this house... and it has now died.

So, this morning, I went in and out of 6 stores shopping for a new fridge. That is taking three kids in and out of the car 6 times.

While in the grocery store, the power went out two times... (not really a big deal for me, it was just what would happen on a day like today)

A back seat window in the car died. It wouldn't go back up. It rained...

We had to use the money we were going to use to help buy us a new car to buy us a new fridge...

John went to pick up the new fridge tonight.

Almost two hours later he calls saying they can't find said fridge.

WHAT??????

They never found it.

(I should add that the first thing I asked the sales guy when I found the fridge was, "Do you have these in stock, because we need it today!" He told me they had four.)

John brought the floor model home.

They gave us $200 off...

Was that my luck of the day?

John did resuscitate the window.

More luck?

I forgot to mention - one of Trevan's fish (named Fishy) died.

John, however, was unable to resuscitate Fishy.

May our fridge and Fishy rest in peace.

And may tomorrow be a better day.

Pets Part III

So, John murdered our fish last night. It might have been involuntary manslaughter... Toby 2 jumped ship like all the fish in the Dentist office on Finding Nemo wanted to. But, John should have been using a net when he cleaned the bowls...

I made John tell Trevan about it this morning ("Why can't he just find another blue fish in the fish bowl later?" John asked. "It's dishonest," I replied.) So, John told Trevan that Toby 2 had an "accident."

"But, he doesn't have a bottom," Trevan replied.

We made him repeat it like 10 times, I had no idea what he was talking about. Then I got it.

"John, he thinks you are telling him that Toby 2 peed in his pants. An accident?"

Trevan took the news all right, and then I left the room. I was walking by when I heard John telling them about getting a dog. "But, mommy doesn't want a dog," I heard Trevan say. "It doesn't matter what mommy wants, it matters what Trevan and Mallary think about getting a dog," I heard John say. WHAT?????!!!!!

I opened the door, and said, "Excuse me..." John thinks he is so funny.

We will not be getting a dog, another fish, yes, but NO dog.

I'm pretty sure it matters what mommy wants...

Pets Part II

I’m not sure what year it was, but I was in middle school and Christmas was approaching. I really wanted a dog, and I felt like I had worn down my parents enough that I might have a chance of finding one underneath the Christmas tree.

My sister, Candi, was home from college for Christmas vacation and the conversation of me getting a dog came up at the dinner table. She jumped into the conversation telling mom and dad why I shouldn’t get a dog, and I thought I saw my chances of getting a dog slipping away. She was ruining it! Before dessert was even served I had my revenge planned.

I was supposed to be in bed already, but instead I was quickly and quietly tee-peeing my sister’s room. I can’t remember everything I did, but I knew she had some sort of allergies, so I took every bottle of perfume I could find and put some on the toilet paper, bedding, and just sprayed them all in the air. That room stunk! Feeling somewhat vindicated, I finished and went to bed. I heard her come up the stairs, and waited for it… “DAAAAAD!”

She had found my presents and apparently did not appreciate them. She came to the doorway of my room and stood there. I, of course was “asleep,” but eventually was told to get out of bed and clean up the mess.

Well, I was still very angry cleaning up the mess while Candi showered. I decided she ruined my chances at getting a dog, so I was going to ruin her chances of getting a good nights sleep. I filled a few cups full of water and dumped them on her sheets. The bed spread was pulled up over them, so by the time she found it I would really be asleep, or so I thought.

Once again, I was “sleeping,” and heard “DAAAD!”

My punishment was to sleep on the mattress I had poured the water on. That only lasted a few minutes before my dad came in and put a thin (dry) mattress on the box springs for me to sleep on.

That Christmas Eve, I still thought I was getting a dog for sure! I observed dad closely that day, and it seemed like he had to go out to the garage a lot. I thought he was going out there to check on and feed my dog. I fully expected there to be puppy toy in my stocking or a note under the Christmas tree telling me I had a present in the garage. I remember even asking Dad if there were any more presents.

Unfortunately, the revenge incident must have put me on the naughty list, because Christmas morning came and went without a puppy.

Pets Part I

When Trevan was potty training I told him he could pick out two fish if he would either pee standing up or keep his clothes on when he went to the bathroom (he used to strip down to go potty, and occassionally still does). He finally did it for a week and we let him pick out two fish.

He picked out a white beta fish, and a blue beta fish. He also chose their names, Toby 1, and Toby 2. Sadly, Toby 1 has passed on, and we had our ceremonial flushing. To replace Toby 1, we let Trevan pick out a new fish which was another colorful beta that he named, XO.

Leaving the pet store:

Me: Where did you get the name XO?

Trevan: I just did.

Me: How do you spell it E-X-X-O?

Trevan: X!O! It's just two letters Mom! ( Duh!)

Meet Toby 2

A very mellow fish, except when it's hungry.

Meet X-O

This fish is a little crazy. It took a while for it to get comfortable in it's new surroundings. XO makes itself bigger to intimidate me. It's pretty funny, but looks really beautiful.

John was shocked when Trevan told him he was going to be able to get some fish, because John was fully aware of my, 'no pets in the house' policy, and 'no pets at all until I am done having kids' policy (I don't need something else to clean up after, or another child to train) . "Who's going to clean the fish bowls?" John asked. "You," I replied.

Here is where my story really gets started. I love animals, but I do not love what comes along with them. I had to clean the fish bowl probably three times while I worked for the American Cancer Society (in my three years there), and I was totally disgusted! It was horrible!! So, John knew I wouldn't be cleaning any fish bowls in the future. SIDENOTE: I also feel bad that they only have a tiny space to live in.

I also had A LOT of cats growing up. They lived outdoors, except if it was really, really cold. I loved them, still like them, but I don't want any. Maybe an outdoor cat, later, when my kids can take care of it (and do they really anyway?), but even though I like them, I still think they are kind of gross! Even as a kid, I did not want the cat's butt to rub up against me. ICKY!

I have a slight germy, ickiness, yucky-ness, dirty phobia issue. (Phobia is a strong word, but something akin to phobia) I don't clean bathrooms (don't worry, John agreed to clean all the bathrooms before we even got married), I think water spots on glasses is gross (I am a little better about that now. My family makes fun of me because they say I have to "examine" all the dishes before I use them), the smell of pet food makes me want to vomit, even fish food (after feeding my cats when I was younger I treated my hands as if I had just touched raw meat), and me cleaning up animal poop? I don't think so.

For example of my germy issues, when I was in my "tweens" and teens, we went on 50 mile hikes with these old canteens (the kind where you can't see inside of them), and even though Dad said he sterilized them, I would not drink out of them (because I couldn't see inside to make sure they were really clean). I basically drank when we got into camp every night, and everyone else used my water throughout the day. I think the same things when there are coolers to drink out of, and I thought the same things during my volleyball or basketball games when drinking out of the water bottles (did they really get cleaned?).

Despite the "ickiness" of animals, I would love to have a Newfoundland, or a St. Bernard (the drool, I know), but I would have to get over some of my issues first, obviously.

Dear Friends (98% of all of our friends have pets), please don't think I hate your pets, just know that is why I wash my hands so quickly after petting them.

I really do love animals,

I just don't want any myself (and now you know why).