Midnight Musings

1.  Painstakingly, finding red, white, and blue outfits for the fourth of July, and everyone changing into their swimsuits before you can even take a picture to document the happy patriotic family.

2.  Doing your daughter's hair totally cute (which is a big deal, because she rarely lets you), and you don't get a picture to capture it.  Instead, you have fifty pictures of a child who looks homeless a lot.

3.  My 18 month old baby goes to church barefoot.  Barefoot...  He can walk.  He has shoes.  For some reason, they don't make it to his feet?

4.  Speaking of shoes... Why is there only one mate to all of my children's shoes in the right place?  We have some order here.  Definitely for shoes.  There are two places the shoes go.  Legitimate places.  Some even LABELED!  With their names!  Why aren't they there???  I find shoes in the most random places.  Mallary, should your shoes be in your basket that has all of your doll toys in them?  No.  No, they should not. 

5.  Why is it that people only come to your house when it's messy?  How come never when I actually get it spotless?  (5% of the time, so I get it that the odds are not in my favor...)

6.  Did you know that the average family has three or four strollers?  It's true.  I have five.  I almost bought a jogging stroller, then I would have had six.  You just need different strollers for different occasions.  You do.  But, it does seem a bit excessive.  One of my strollers was so dirty and beat up.  I was telling someone it was kind of embarrassing taking it into nice places.  Someone overheard and said, "You should look at the scuffs and dirt on your stroller and be proud!  It shows you go places, you do things, that your babies haven't just sat at home their whole lives!"  She made me feel so good about that turning it around to look at that way!  It's true, that stroller had been across the country multiple times,  it had been to lakes and beaches and mountains.  It had been strawberry picking, and blueberry picking, and blackberry picking, and peach picking.  It had been to parks and malls and fairs.  It was well used!  I did get a new one anyway, but the well loved one is now used exclusively for dirty jobs like strawberry picking and camping and such! 

7.  Speaking of dirty jobs, I need to clean my kitchen. 

#hashtags #craycray #imsonotcool

Let's talk about hash tags...

Have we really thought about these things? 

To me, they are just going to be like booties/shoeties and I'm never going to understand them.  I know everyone else loves them, but I'm just not cool enough. 

Kind of like when my niece lived with us and everything had an abbreviation.  I started saying
'probs' for probably, and 'cray cray' for crazy.  I mean, it was just cray cray.  If I were to use hashtags it would be:

#craycrayintheneighneigh

Translation - crazy in the neighborhood.

I found that very difficult up there, I kept wanting to put spaces in between all the words.  Is that a hash taggers beginner troubles?  #hashtagprobs

I think whoever invented the use of hashtags was some computer programmer that failed English in high school...

He or she was just confused...

Does a period go at the end of a sentance?  No, I think the beginning.  Wait, is it a period or a pound sign?  Oh yeah, I think it's a pound sign.  I think we should call it a hash tag instead of a pound sign, that sounds cooler. 

Okay, I get it.  Hash tags started with tweeters, but they are spilling out into everyday lives people.  I know hash taggers have to use hash tags in their thoughts, because I did the other day and I've never written a hash tag in my life.  That one above, my first hash tag.  But, maybe because it wasn't used on Twitter or Instagram it doesn't count.  So, I'm still a hash tag virgin I guess. 

Yesterday, I built an awesome train track for Jonah, and for reals thought to myself...  "If I had a smartphone I would take a picture of this and under it put, #bestmomever #motheroftheyear etc. etc.  (Seriously, people how do you resist putting spaces in between your words? That was so hard!) But, I don't have a smart phone.  I have a phone, I kid you not, that I saw last week in a random documentary based in a third world country where a kid IN THIS THIRD WORLD COUNTRY was using the same cell phone I use!  If it hadn't been so late I would have called some of my friends to tell them my phone was kind of a celebrity.  They make fun of my phone. Obviously they have a reason to. 

I know, I know, hash tags are search tools, it also helps people find you, think you are funny/clever/whatever and then they will follow you.  Why do we need to be followed again? 

Have you heard of 'The Five Love Languages" book?  In it, you can take a test to see what your love language is, well I didn't get a single point for affirmations.  I guess I don't need praise.  My sister scored the same in that.  We joke that we already know how cool/awesome we are so we don't need people to tell us.  In fact it makes me kind of uncomfortable when someone does hand it out.  Is that weird?  So, when I'm saying 'No, stop.' I'm not just saying that and really am fishing for compliments, I really want you to stop because it's making me uncomfortable.  So maybe that's why I don't get the whole I want 5,000 people following me concept of twitter and hash tags?  Good thing I wouldn't care about people following me, because this post shows I am not cool and would have no followers.  I guess I'm okay with that. 

Though, I'm not going to lie, there's some pretty funny tweeters out there. 

But, seriously have you really thought about how hash tagging is so trendy now?  I think it's becoming a little out of control.  I've seen some hash tags where literally the person has written a paragraph but just used incomplete sentences and hash tags instead of periods.   

I just had a fabulous idea...  I actually think it would be a fun party game to spend the evening just talking in hash tags!  A hash tag party!  Who's in??

Sigh...

Tonight I typed up four 'to do' lists complete with little squares next to each item for me to put a little 'x' in once I finish them.

I taped them on the wall.

They aren't even complete...

I couldn't bear to add anything else to them.

It's overwhelming.

One 'x' at a time, I guess.

I think I'm going to convert to being Amish. Life seems simpler that way.

But, I'd miss all the things on my 'to do' list.

Well, except for the cleaning the kitchen item.

But, even if I was Amish, I guess I'd still have to clean the kitchen.

I think all the party planning things on my to do list would be simplified. Barn raisings wouldn't require much effort.

Do the Amish use fondant?