started 6/2/13 finished 7/8/13

Dear Mom,

There are still lots of times I want to call and talk.  I'd tell you about the crazy shenanigans of your grandchildren and how I'm losing my mind.  I'd ask you how the heck you raised us without killing us.  There are many times I think back now and wonder why you didn't literally wring my neck.  For instance, when I pulled down the chandelier from the ceiling in the living room, or when I'd scream at you at the top of my lungs.  How you kept from slapping my face I will never know.  Jeremy and Jeryl playing sock basketball using the curtain rod as the basket must have been annoying sometimes too.  Now, when I think of the few times I saw tears fall down your face because of us being mean or rude or maybe because you didn't know what else to do with us makes me tear up a little bit, because now I can relate to that feeling.  I'm sorry.  Man, I wish you were here to commiserate with.  Like, did you ever think to yourself, "If I have to clean up one more mess today...  I might....  lose it?  crawl in a hole?  lock myself in my room?  lock my kids in their room?" 

Mallary would just eat you up if you were here.  She would love you!  She asks about you sometimes, and I hear her ask Trevan about you.  I think Trevan kind of brags to her that he remembers you and she doesn't.  Her love language is touch, and she would just love that you would hug her to pieces.  She would also do your hair.  She has taught herself to braid!  Five years old and braiding... maybe she could have even taught you.  She is a determined little girl.  She's in gymnastics and has taught herself how to do handstands and headstands.  She starts in the same swimming class as Trevan tonight too!  She is so teachable.  It really makes me sad sometimes that she is missing out on that relationship she could have had with you, and having such a great grandma like you.

Trevan would still crack you up.  I just can't figure him out.  He still runs around the house like crazy, but doesn't put that same energy into running on the soccer field.  One game this year, I was cheering, and all of a sudden I realized I sounded like you cheering for us at all of our games and such.  I laughed out loud and told my friend next to me that I was my mother!   I wish you could be here so my kids could hear your cheers from the sidelines.  "YAY!!"  You would still marvel at this kids memory.  It kills me.  I wonder if you were here if you'd make him practice his handwriting like your mom did to me when I was young?

Jonah...  Mom, he has one speed and one volume;  fast and LOUD.  Oh my word.  Thank goodness he is so cute...  If you could just be here to help this kid be potty trained, that would be great!  But, he has no interest whatsoever. 

And, Everett...  He's delightful.  John's son for sure being so chatty and friendly.  I've yet to see him make a crusty face - except when I tried to feed him cold applesauce.  That would have made you laugh.  Mallary still talks about it and how funny it was. 

I wish they could have you in their lives...

Mom, I have four kids...  I feel like I can't get anything done.  I guess the fourth does that?  You had five... I now understand why it seemed like you were in the kitchen all day!  Oh, I have tried so many soup recipes you would love!!!!! 

On another note, I'd also give you props for starting a new trend... how did you know gray was going to be the color to paint your walls? You could tell Jeremy he doesn't know anything when he talks about gray walls being so ugly.  I bet he wouldn't say that now.  Though the gray has been painted over now. 

Anyway.... 

Wish you were here. 

XO