Revelations

1.  My wrist has been hurting lately... I JUST figured out it's from holding my 20 pound (!) four month old with only that hand the other day. 

2.  I realized how horrible I must look in the mornings when I wait at the bus stop with Trevan when a neighbor who I stand with a few times a week at the bus stop saw me at an awards ceremony at the elementary school and walked right past me when I smiled at him.  Then, when I saw him at the end, I smiled and said hi, and he TOTALLY DID NOT recognize me, and then you could see the light bulb switch on and he was his super friendly self with me and the other kids.   Wow.  I didn't realize I looked that bad without my hair brushed...  I guess I clean up pretty good. 

3.  My son is always going to be the kid to fall through the cracks.  I've always said that, and it keeps happening.  SINCE KINDERGARTEN!  On Friday, he was supposed to recieve the Principal's Award for having straight 4's (like straight A's) this past term, AND THEY DIDN'T CALL HIS NAME!  I had my camera ready and everything (and I never take pictures at these things like every other parent there does) and when they only called one person from his class to step forward, I just couldn't stop shaking my head in frustration.  I'm trying not to be mad about it, and I'm not going to call his teacher and complain and ask for his award, but I'm tired of it.  I called John and told him that this is what we have to look forward to the rest of his public school life.  You guys, I have had to catch stuff for his teachers since he has started school.  Just last term he got a 3 in reading on his mid term report card.  I emailed his teacher concerned and asked how he could have a 3 when he's over a grade ahead in reading and has perfect grades in his comprehension?  She emailed back, "I'm sorry, my fault, you're right, I'll fix it."  He's just going to be that kid.  Trevan, I'm sorry. 

4.  I've decided I have seasonal affective disorder, just not during the season that most people have it.  My allergies are just so bad it's depressing.  I can't open my windows, I don't want to go anywhere because of the misery it causes.  I can't take what really works for me because I'm nursing, and Benedryl only takes the edge off.  I'm going to get relief in a few days (hopefully, now that most of the trees are in bloom), and then it's going to kick right back in during strawberry season in a few weeks, and then after strawberries die, I'll be done!!  Another reason why I love summer so much, no allergies!!!

5.  I think we just need to move to the beach.  My kids ask every day if and when we are going.  EVERY DAY, people. 

6.  I've JUST figured out that my body gives me anxiety.  If there is anything wrong with it, it makes me worry and it stresses me out.  Getting a filling in my tooth and a crown recently just about pushed me over the edge for a week...  And, now it hurts to chew on the side that I've never had problems with.  Seriously, you guys, just that little thing makes me have to fight the urge to go climb in bed and be depressed about it.  I don't know how my mom did it; lived with cancer and her ailments so gracefully for so long.  I really don't.  I think I would make a horrible cancer patient, and that worries me....  I mean, I can't even get a filling without getting stressed out about it.  I've got some issues!

7.  Kids are expensive.  I think I've mentioned that before, but you guys, I paid about 1,000 dollars in medical bills on Saturday that were just from the beginning of the year!!!!!!!  That's 1,000 dollars that could be used to do a lot more fun things than go to the Dermatologist, use a Biliblanket, go to the doctor, etc. etc. etc. 

8.  Making new recipes is a type of therapy for me.  I don't know why or how, but it helps keep me sane.  I realized I mostly made new recipes for dinners this month and it was great!  I also noticed the days the meal plan had a recipe listed that I had made before I had to talk myself into making it, and I wasn't very excited about it.  Too funny.

9.  I'm weird.

10.  I need a vacation.