It was Christmas Eve. Our table was set with my pretty, red Christmas dishes, the majority of the food was on the table, and we were starting to gather at the table to begin our meal…
And then Mallary started puking…
And, that, my friends, was the final nail in my Christmas spirit’s coffin – the icing on my fruitcake!
And I do not like fruitcake.
Had we not had friends over, I would have retired to my bedroom and hibernated until at least 2011.
This Christmas season was… different? I barely listened to Christmas music, which I usually have to force myself not to listen to until after Thanksgiving. I don’t think I even watched one full Christmas special. What?!?!? (I know. That makes me sad just typing it.) We delivered no goodies (I started to make some many times…), sent no Christmas cards, and I wrapped the presents the week of Christmas (very odd for me, usually have them wrapped as soon as I buy them). I also knew I wouldn’t be getting anything off of my Christmas list, which included, but was not limited to: a new mattress for our bed, patio furniture, a larger patio to put the furniture on, a fence for our backyard, a new light for the bathroom, more kitchen cabinets built, a new computer, and I’ll just stop there…
When I finally accepted the fact that I wasn’t getting any of those things for Christmas (okay, so I knew that before I made the list…), I decided that all I really wanted for Christmas was a little peace. Some for me, some for you, some for anyone in the world that wanted it. I know, I know… Christmas lists are not for beauty pageant answers, but really, was world peace too much to ask for? Or, for everyone to have peace in their homes, or in their hearts? I know, it’s a big ticket item. I’m not sure if Santa could have even made that in his workshop…
I jest. But, really.
No.
Really.
It seems like lately I know of too many people struggling with tough issues, too many friends with hurting hearts, too much sadness going on all around me… Lately, just watching the evening news breaks my heart a little bit. I’m not sure when I became so sensitive… I know everyone has their own set of struggles; I have my own, and I know you have your own. I think there are a lot of people who would like a little peace.
I think there are different kids of peace…
I mean, sometimes, all I want is an hour or two of peace and quiet in my life. Time where I can just BE, and not do. Peace from not having to give time outs, or raise my voice… Peace where I can read something that touches my spirit, and enjoy that moment without it being interrupted by my child yelling for something at me… That kind of peace.
Then, there’s the kind of peace that settles in your heart and heals. A lot of hearts need that kind of peace too.
If there was some way Santa could have wrapped up a little peace, topped it with a bow, and slipped it in my stocking (and yours)…. that would have been the best stocking stuffer ever.
So, I narrowed down my Christmas list, and told Santa that all I wanted was Peace on earth.
And, if that wasn’t doable, I asked for a clean house.
So, that’s how I felt leading up to Christmas Eve. For me, it had been a Christmas season filled with issue after issue, topped off with so many of my friends hurting with their own issues, and it just wasn’t feeling Christmas-y enough to me. There were a few Christmas spirit highs like my Christmas Road Rally Party, and getting Christmas cards, gifts, and my friends candy cane fudge in the mail.
So, I had really wanted Christmas Eve to be perfect. I was looking forward to spending a whole day devoted to Christmas. I was cooking dinner, we were going to eat with friends, we were going to make sugar cookies and decorate them, we were going to watch a fun Christmas movie, and read the Christmas story, and hang stockings, and set cookies out for Santa, and then snuggle up on the couch with my husband in a dark living room with only the Christmas tree lights on, and watch a Christmas special…
Cue Mallary puking…
Our poor friends!!! We tried to somewhat carry on with the evening… At first, we didn’t know if Mallary was really sick, or if she made herself throw up by coughing and gagging herself – we soon figured out she was sick. Let’s just say John gave her three or four baths before our friends even left that night. It was really sad.
I tried to carry on with the evening, though inside I really just wanted to fall apart. Then, as I went to make the icing for the sugar cookies, my hand mixer broke! I was like, REALLY????? Could this night get any better??? Our friends left a little later, and then Trevan opened his pajamas, and Mallary had fallen asleep in our floor. I told Trevan to come down stairs and we would hang the stockings, and put some cookies out for Santa. Well, he loved his new pajamas so much, he climbed in his bed before I knew it and went to sleep before even coming downstairs!
I couldn’t even set out cookies for Santa with my kids???
That night kept getting better for me…
I was just so disappointed. As a parent you look forward to holidays with your kids, like to see them so happy on those events makes up for the bad stuff on other days. You really want it to be so magical for them.
And in case you didn’t know, barfing does not equal magical.
Needless to say, Christmas Eve didn’t turn out at all as I had envisioned it… and to top it off, I fell asleep on the couch, sitting up, alone, not even watching a Christmas special.
And, the next day?
My stocking was pretty empty… AND my house wasn’t clean!
Santa had not put any peace in my stocking OR cleaned my house! Can you believe that guy?
I started this post well before Christmas, and it just kept evolving. Then when Christmas Eve came, and Christmas came and went, I tried to write more and couldn’t. I think I had to process it all before coming back to it.
Before Christmas, I found some pictures of past Christmases, and my mom was in them maybe making me a little sentimental…
This year, my whole family got together the day after Christmas, and had a Christmas dinner. Before I even finished eating, people were cleaning up and getting ready to open presents. What?? I hadn’t finished my food or gone back for seconds yet!
"The kids want to open up the presents," someone said. "Who cares?" I said, "When we were kids at Grandma's house we had to wait patiently until everyone was done eating and cleaning up!!!"
Honestly, I was a little upset (my family won’t be surprised to read that, don’t worry - but by now they will have forgotten it). I was eating and talking to my sister in law, and they already had tables taken down… I’ve thought about why that really bothered me other than the obvious reasons, and I came to the conclusion that I think if my mom had been there, she wouldn’t have been done eating either. She would have been sitting there with us talking and eating.
For me, it was another Christmas let down. You picture yourself enjoying your Christmas dinner with family you love, only it felt like it lasted ten minutes.
I know. I’m pathetic. I am. But, there are just times in your life when you feel down, and then stuff keeps happening that keeps you down, or makes you want to stay down.
And that’s where that post ended… See? I was totally depressed and did not even know it. I remember crying while watching the news in early December of that year… Oh my.
It makes me so so so so sad that somehow all the pictures on my camera from this Christmas were deleted. Like very sad. Did I mention that I was sad that all the pictures were deleted?
Anway, we had friends over, and these are the pictures she took on that Christmas Eve and was kind enough to share them with me.
At the end of these pictures I'll just write down my memories of the pictures that I took. I think we have on video the kids opening their presents... I'm crossing my fingers that we do.
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| Trevan and his friend |
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| Oh my goodness, is this right before she threw up???????? How she managed not to get puke on the table I will never know. It completely covered underneath the table... It must have been the only Christmas miracle that year. :) |
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| Or this one??? It was a nightmare... |
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| This must be while John was upstairs during one of Mallary's many baths that night. |
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| I was literally on the verge of falling apart. Had our friends not been there, I totally would have. |
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| Jonah has always loved Jennifer |
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| I love that they captured his silly smile in this picture! This is how he smiled for so long!! |
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| At least they had fun making cookies!! |
So, that night I took pictures of Trevan opening his Christmas jammies, and Mallary asleep on our floor. Then later that night she woke up and threw up some more, after another bath she opened her Christmas jammies and put them on too.
Christmas morning pictures - I had some of them on the stairs with Mallary still looking a little sick... We let her open presents while sitting on some towels with a bowl to puke in nearby - though I don't think she ever needed it.
Some favorite Christmas memories from that year:
- It snowed a little bit (I think...)
- Trevan opening up this Star Wars game that you plug into a TV and he exclaimed, "This is better than a DS!!!!!
- Trevan had wanted a frog pillow pet, but I couldn't find one in time and my sister had found this GIANT frog, and when he opened it up he totally wrestled with it and played with it, it was so cute!
- I surprised John by hemming some Christmas jammies from the year before that had ripped and he wanted me to make them into capris. (I know he's a weird man...) When John stood up and held them up in front of him, Trevan looked at him and said, "Those pants would fit Santa Clause!" I think I laughed about that for a year! Okay, I'm still laughing about that!!
- When handing Mallary another present to open, she said "I don't want anymore. I have enough presents already." (We only give three presents + usually one big and one little thing from Santa)
- Trevan gave Mallary a little Hello Kitty backpack for Christmas and Mallary exclaimed, "A BACKPACK! I can go to school now like Trevan!"
- Talking to my BFF, Becky on the phone
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