Flying Solo

Yesterday was the first day I was by myself with all three of my children. (All three... I now have three... crazy...)

John was home, and then my sister took my two other kids for one week. (Can I just tell you how wonderful that was??? I will do a post on that all by itself.)

So, yesterday it was just me. Me against three...

It was probably one of the hardest days of my life as a mother. Okay, I'm sure there have been just as hard days, and I know there will be harder days, but let's just say it was a tough one. Really tough.

Mallary came back to my house louder than before (and not to mention larger... when did she get so big, and so heavy???). Her tantrums have also been kicked up to a whole other level. Oh. My. Goodness.

Both of my children had a really hard time listening yesterday. It was so bad, I made a chart to try and help me focus on the positive. Now, we have "Trevan is a good listener" and "Mallary is a good listener" charts on my fridge. But, with only two stickers on each one...

It was seriously such a hard day for me, full of tears (from me), tantrums (from Mallary) and helpless feelings (me again). I felt like a failure, and I wondered why I even decided to have kids in the first place. Seriously questioning my judgement. I had no idea how I would survive another day of that. I even called John at work and told him he might have to stay at home and me go back to work. I even thought about enrolling Mallary in some kind of day care, and if we had extra money I would have enrolled her yesterday!! I didn't think I could handle any more screaming, or any more of Mallary testing me, and no one listening.

Nap time yesterday was heavenly - had I not had that - I think I really would have lost my mind for good. I crashed on the couch last night wondering if, and how I could handle another day...

Today? Well, it's been delightful. No screaming, no crying, no time outs - I have even been able to clean, and I'm here typing on the computer even!! Maybe, I can do this!!! I guess it will just take some adjusting, of course. And, a lot of prayers. Someone must have prayed for me last night; prayed that I wouldn't lose my mind. It should have been me doing the praying, but I layed down while John was changing Jonah's diaper, and I didn't even stay awake long enough to reach down and pull the covers over me. I guess my husband did it for me. He's so sweet.

So, today has been great. Thank goodness. I know it's only 10 o'clock, but I haven't had an issue yet. I'm totally knocking on wood...

Wait...

Does particle board count?