Such is my life

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a firm believer in a stay at home mother getting a little sanity time by herself. I know some moms feel bad leaving their kids home with dad, or even guilty. (what?!) I am obviously, definitely not one of those moms. And, unfortunately, there are husbands out there that don't support their wives taking any time off. They are obviously still living in the stone ages.

I hadn't planned on going anywhere last night, but after eating dinner with my family... I thought I needed a little quiet time away. While Mallary whined about not having juice to drink, and Trevan whined about not wanting to eat his carrots because they were cooked with his meat, I announced to John that I was going to go shopping after dinner. The only comment from him being, "where to?" He really is a good man.

I gave the kids good night hugs and kisses, got in my car, turned off the kiddie music and listened to the radio. I was only gone an hour and a half. (I might have stayed out longer, but shopping through one continuous Braxton Hicks contraction was about to do me in...)

When I got home I started to assemble my new baby gate, and Mallary was still awake and calling out from upstairs, "Mommy." "Rockey." If I had not had that hour and a half time to myself I probably would have ignored her and let her go to sleep (which would have been perfectly fine), but I was recharged and ready to "mother."

Mallary greeted me with a big smile, which I happily returned. I got her out of her crib and we settled in the recliner in her room. She curled herself around the side of my belly, resting her head on my chest, and we "rockied." I let her fall asleep against me, enjoying the snuggling time. Once your kids get older, the snuggling time lessens, and it's nice whenever they will snuggle with you, or when I take the time to snuggle with them.

Such is my life as a mother. I'm a better mom when I get a little 'me' time, and it doesn't even have to be a long time. Just like when I worked, I needed a few minutes to stare out of my office window or even play a quick game of Solitaire, to help clear my mind which helped me feel re-freshed and helped me be able to re-focus. As a mother, I need time to re-fresh so I can re-focus.

Then this morning, I get up, use the bathroom, and then grab a pen and notebook. I made my to do list for the day. I was a woman with a plan, on a mission to accomplish the one thousand things I had/have to do today. All of a sudden John gets out of bed, and I hear him get Mallary (who was still in her crib, talking and playing). Then, John is carrying Mallary into our room, holding her out in front of him, headed for our bathroom. Mallary had obviously started throwing up.

I put down my to do list and check out the situation starting with Mallary and John in the bathroom, back tracking to the crib to assess the mess.

As I stood in our bathroom watching John get ready to give Mallary a bath, my thoughts went back to my to do list, now realizing that if she is sick, that to do list might as well be tossed in the garbage.

Such is my life as a mother. (and you learn this pretty quickly after having your first baby) I run on someone else's time table now, my kids time tables. I can make a plan for the day, or for a weekend, but my kids can change those plans at any moment requiring impromptu visits to the Doctor, or just holding them with a bowl nearby - just in case. You just never know.

The action items on my to do list got a late start this morning. But, by now I'm used to it. Does it still get a little frustrating sometimes? Sure. But, my kids are helping (forcing?) me to be more flexible.

It's just part of the territory of motherhood, and I don't think that is something that ever goes away no matter their age.

I'll always need "me" time, and that "me" time makes me better (especially more patient) during "mother" time. Though, I need my "me" time, for the rest of my life I know there will be plenty of times that my "me" time is cancelled, interrupted, rescheduled, or non-existent to help take care of my children's needs, wants, troubles, or desires. Such is the life I signed up for as a mother. And, I know that as a mother, until the day I die, it will be the "WE" time that means the most.


Update: Mallary was fine. She hasn't thrown up since the one time this morning. I think she was just congested, and gagged on her own phlegm, which made her throw up, which she's done before... fun times!