Holly - Year In Review

I've been asked where the review of my year has been. I have sat down to type this post many times, and nothing comes to me. Seriously. I literally had to look at my calendar to see what I even did last year! It was filled with boring things like, Doctor's appointments, play dates, and when books were due back to the library. Like sand through an hour glass, such are the days of my life.

The calendar, however, was also spotted with short trips, visits from friends, and a little vacay to Hawaii (can I just say that that trip seems like it was 2 years ago?????) to spice things up a bit.

THIS YEAR HAS LITERALLY FLOWN BY!!!!

Since this is my blog, and I'm blogging, I'll start with the fact that I started my blog this year. I appreciate the emails, comments, and messages from people that they like my blog, and appreciate my honesty and candidness in it. Just last night, I heard a new mom of a six week old baby say, "No one ever told me, or talked about how hard it was going to be." Being a mother is the most important thing I will do in my life, and it definitely pays me in joyful moments. But, for every woman, motherhood is a different experience, and if we're honest, we have to admit it is a role that is not without it's challenges and headaches. This blog is my history, so if I left out my daily struggles to keep my sanity as a mother, then my history would not be very accurate. I don't want my daughter to some day be a mother and say, "Mom never said this was going to be hard, how come it's so hard for me?" I feel as though sometimes people don't talk about their struggles in order to keep up some kind of image. Well, I have no image I'm worried about keeping up, and will continue keeping it real.

I will be honest though, this blog was a place to help me focus on the positive, and seek for the sunshine, and I really needed that, because this year was not my most sunshiney year. This year started out pretty sunny for me, but then the clouds started rolling in. I tried to keep positive, and try to serve others to help me not focus on my issues, but it was a challenge. At one point, I almost started a Debbie Downer Blog, or a Dump It Blog, where people could come and post today's gripe, leave it there, and not complain about it anymore. I figured it went against the whole trying to look on the bright side of things, and I decided against it... My sweet friend reminded me, "You can't be Suzy Sunshine all the time." It became my joke, if I talked to her on the phone and ended up whining or complaining, "Just call me Suzy Sunshine." I really
would like to be Suzy Sunshine all the time though. Still taking those baby steps.

This year, I spent a lot of time in my work room, and it's still a mess to prove it...

I also became pregnant and dealt with 24/7 nauseousness that lasted a little over four months. This pregnancy has flown by. I feel like if I didn't have this huge belly that I accidentally shut in doors all the time (for real), and my baby didn't move so much, I would forget I was pregnant. (well, there are a few other reminders too...) But, seriously, I am grateful my baby is so active, because I like to be reminded "it's" there. It's like, "it's" saying, "Hey, mom. Don't forget I'm in here." Usually when I lay down at night we (the baby and I) share a silent conversation. I am very content to be in that moment focusing on "it" as "it" moves and wiggles. I sometimes, rest my hand on my belly as my part of joining in the conversation. I am thankful for the opportunity I have to participate in this miracle of bringing another life in the world. People ask, referring to me being pregnant, "Are you excited?" I'm not really sure how to answer that. I don't know if excited is the word when you are pregnant and taking care of your other two children, and also aware of all the risks that there are during pregnancy and child birth. I think I've decided that excited isn't the word for me (though that was an honest feeling I felt when I found out the sex of our baby), I'm content. I'm content in my pregnancy; content in having another baby and growing our family. Content and thankful.

This year seriously went by so fast. I stayed busy, really busy. I love how my neighbor teases me that she hopes I schedule a time to fit in the birth of my baby.

I think the last day of this year summed up all the other days of this past year. While preparing for a weekend away to celebrate New Year's, I had to take Trevan to an impromptu visit to the Doctor for an impromptu ear infection. It took three hours out of my day, putting my cooking, packing, and departure time off. Such was my year; finding balance in all areas of my life, while dealing with all the impromptu surprises, and challenges that arose. I'm sure this coming year will be no different. Bring it on!

Here's to 2010!

Suzy Sunshine over and out.