The Little Things

Can you read it? TMI?

My friend posted a picture on her blog of a love note her husband put in her trunk to hang down when her trunk opened up. I love thoughtful things like that. I always tell John that things he puts thought into I will always love more than just spending money on me. I mean, it's okay if he spends money on me sometimes, but it means a lot more if I know it was thoughtful, and it took a little planning.

The little things are my favorite. I came home from being at my Dad's house once a couple of months ago, and I look in my workroom and the screen saver was dancing wildy with the message, "I Love you so much!!!!!!!" It immediately brought a smile to my face. So simple, but knowing that John had thought about doing it, and taking the few seconds to do it, is what meant the most to me. About a month later, I noticed he had changed the screen saver to say what is in the picture above. He's so funny.

Back in May, I was having a really bad week. Really bad. I came home one night and walked in my bedroom and saw the massage table up and ready for me. (SIDE STORY: Did you know John was going to massage therapy school when I met him? He was taking a break from school to do it, so he could work on a cruise ship or something, and then use it to pay for his schooling. He finished before we got married, we paid the money for him to take the certification test, he passed, and he never worked in that field - it's the only school loan we have to finish paying off. So, I say I have my own personal massage therapist; as long as we are having to pay the loan, I should get as many massages as I want. Right?) Anyway, when I walked in the room and saw the table, I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. He knew I was having a hard time, and could use a little stress relief. (Umm... I don't want you to get the wrong idea here. A REAL massage knocks me out. Cold. So much so, if John wakes me up I'm a little cranky. So, don't even go there.)

I think it's those little things that keep a marriage progressing, growing, and fresh. John and I started a notebook a few years after we got married to write "love notes" to each other in, and then leave it in random places for the other to find. There were a few times I would go to take a nap during the day (how I miss those days) and my head would hit the pillow and I would feel the book in my pillow. It has shown up in John's lunch, in someone's Christmas stocking, or sock drawer. It isn't a big thing, but it brings a smile to your face and gives you warm fuzzies, because I knew he took the time to think about how he could make me happy that day.

Of course, that's the secret to a happy marriage, spending your time thinking how you can make your spouse happy, instead of thinking of the things they do that get on your nerves. Oh boy, do I need to do better. I remember in a marriage class I had in college (shouldn't every college require people to take those?) the teacher said, he thought one of the keys to a successful marriage was spending your marriage trying to "one-up" your spouse. That is what he and his wife did. He said if you are spending a lot of time thinking of how you can surprise your spouse that day and bring them a little happiness, you won't have time to focus on the negative things. I liked that. Enough for me to remember it ten years later. I just need to practice it more. It's totally about those little things.

Dear John, (he'll read this in about two weeks or so)

Thanks for taking care of the kids and the meals on Saturday so I could get some work done. You are such a good man. I know I'm pretty lucky.

I Love You,

Holly