If I only had a brain

Okay, so I just figured out that today is Thursday.

Seriously.

Hello?? I posted my Friday Flashback on Thursday!

Anyway. Just blame it on my pregnancy and motherhood.

Two other things I do on an almost daily basis:

Put my glass away in the fridge, and start to put the gallon of milk in the sink.

Put the cereal box in the fridge, and put the milk in the pantry.

Welcome to my life...

Good Housewife Part II

Tip #6. Some DON'TS. Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

HOLLY'S TAKE: Ummmm.... yeah. If the man's a father, there's a big chance he opens the door to a visible problem or visible mess that Mallary just made. The late for dinner thing? I can handle him being late if he calls to let me know he's going to be late. But, if I'm working hard to get the food on the table by the time he were to walk in the door, then I'm totally going to complain about it if he didn't call. It is a very simple, common courtesy, that takes one minute to pick up the phone and make a call. But, like I said, we haven't had any issues with it this new year. That must have been one of John's resolutions.

Tip #7. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lay down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow his to relax and unwind.

HOLLY'S TAKE: Doesn't that make you laugh? I know there are still men out there that expect this, and they are crazy. Luckily, my husband isn't one of them. A father comes home from work and probably has, what, maybe two hours before their little kids go to bed? If a man uses an excuse he has to unwind before helping or playing with his kids, LAME! He only has two hours to interact with his kids, and then he can unwind for the rest of the night!

Tip #8. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

HOLLY'S TAKE: Honestly, on most days, by the time John gets home my nerves are pretty shot, and I don't feel like talking at all. I need time to unwind.

Tip #9. Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

HOLLY'S TAKE: The evening his? How sweet. Luckily, my husband knows that my world has lots of strain and pressure too, and understands my need to relax. If I need entertainment, I'll go shopping, and he can stay home and relax.

Tip #10. The goal. Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

HOLLY'S TAKE: It's 2010. The goal should be a team effort between the husband and wife to make the home a place of peace and order where everyone can relax. Thank goodness I wasn't a housewife in the 50's! (Though the clothes would have been fun to wear!)

Being a good housewife

This is a little forward I got a long time ago, that I find pretty funny. I'll only do a few a day, but there are 10 tips total, but I'm going to add my spin on them too...

THE FOLLOWING IS FROM AN ACTUAL 1950'S HOME ECONOMICS TEXTBOOK INTENDED FOR HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS, TEACHING THEM HOW TO PREPARE FOR MARRIED LIFE:

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

HOLLY'S TAKE: TRY and have dinner ready. (Though actually, this year I've done really good!) My trick is to start dinner in the morning right after breakfast. I'm usually too tired if I wait until the afternoon. But, what typically used to take place in our house was (before the new year, John is trying to do really good too), I would make dinner, hold the kids off to eat until when I thought John would get home, and about the time John should be home, he'd call to say he was still at work... Not a happy wife. But, like I said, he's done really good in the new year.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

HOLLY'S TAKE: Rest? What's that???? Make-up? Only if I had an appointment of some sort... and not always then. A ribbon in my hair? Will a pony tail do? Fresh looking? Probably not... Work-weary? I think that describes me at the end of the day. At the end of the day, I can't muster up the energy to be a little gay or more interesting. Most likely I need a lift from my afternoon with Mallary.

3. Clear away clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gather up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

HOLLY'S TAKE: I'll be honest, I wish I had the energy to do this at the end of the day. I try to be consistent at five o'clock to get the kids to pick up their toys, etc. But it doesn't always happen. It just depends on how the day has gone. I would love to have a haven of rest and order...

4. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing their part?

HOLLY'S TAKE: Whatever. You've seen pictures of Mallary's hair right? I do it, and it's messy within the next five minutes. Why in the world would I change my kid's clothes right before dinner, so they could dirty two outfits in a day??? That's just stupid. Playing their part? Right.

5. Minimize the noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

HOLLY'S TAKE: I can pretty much guarantee the vacuum is not running when John comes in the door. I can also pretty much guarantee that Mallary is not ever quiet. I am glad to see John at the end of the day, but I don't know if there is always a smile on my face at that time of day. With my kids, the late afternoons are usually the most challenging. Poor John having to come home to my makeup-less face, ribbon free hair, and tired face. I guess I should feel lucky he comes home at all.

I think the best tips are the last five. Stay tuned until tomorrow.

Please tell him

Okay, admittedly, I used to spend a lot of money on bath items, expensive shampoos and hair products. I have totally reigned myself in since I've been married. I can honestly say I never would have thought in a million years that I would spend more on body wash for my husband in a year, than I would spend on myself and my children combined. Seriously. Please weigh in.

For example, the bottles above - My body wash is 8oz., and lasts me about 6-8 months, at least. You only need a small drop to get a good lather. I also always get it on sale, or whatever kind I use on sale. John's body wash is 18oz. He got this December 25, 2009 from Santa in his stocking. (Santa likes to give necessities too.) He didn't even start using it right away, because he still had some at home to finish using first. So, this bottle of body wash has lasted barely one month. ONE MONTH! Don't you think that's a little crazy? John doesn't believe me. He says, "I'm a big guy," or "At least I'm clean." He thinks you need a good two inches of lather on your body, all over your body, to ensure cleanliness... Yes, at least he's clean, but really??? So, maybe if John hears it from more than one person, he'll believe me. What do you think?

(And, yes. John knows I'm blogging about this. No worries.)

Two more funny things

I forgot to add a picture to two posts.

This is a doll that Santa bought my little niece. I don't think this picture does it justice, but this was a weird, creepy doll. She is hollow, and weird... Really, based on this picture, I guess you won't think this is funny, but we did. So, I guess this is just for me to laugh about. Sorry...

Another funny thing that happened at my dad's wedding was the first time I have witnessed someone eating a cream puff like this:

My sister's friend, Kara's little sister eats the cream and leaves the puff. So funny.

Bedazzled

Have you ever watched someone walk by you, and based on their outfit, you know they have a Bedazzler at home?

Craft Show Review Post

I am determined to finish blogging about my summer before December is over...

I said I would do craft show reports, and I'm a little behind. So, I'm only going to review on the show I did at the fair in August, and ignore all the ones I did this fall and winter.

Here's my little booth - almost each of my shows the set up is a bit different.

Two of my favorite Shaggy Chic quilts I made for the show (on the right above and below)- both sold.

I LOVED this seer sucker little skirt I made! (and it's still available... and I can custom make more...) I started making reversible skirts before this show as well.

There is nothing quite like sitting for five days at a craft show and people watching.

A few highlights:

1. I think I've mentioned before, that after sitting at a craft show you are able to sell your crafting neighbor's items. At this show, I really learned never to judge a book by it's cover. Quite literally. My neighbor crafter sold his self authored books. When I saw the books, I honestly thought, "Who is going to buy those????" (and you would think it too if you saw the titles) Well, let me tell you, that man made bank. Really. I was very impressed. His sales line to get people to his table was, "Do you like to read?" He was a very nice old man with stretcy waisted plaid shorts, and these:

Do you like how I slyly took this picture when he was talking to someone??

2. I swear if I saw one more person wearing an Abercrombie or an Aeropostale shirt I thought I might have to say scream - "SHOP SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!!" It turned me off from ever buying something with a name brand across the front of it again (unless it's dirt cheap, like $1). Seriously, it was crazy, I wanted to start telling people they could be more original!

3. Speaking of original, or the lack thereof, are the couples I saw wearing matching outfits, matching t-shirts (especially hideous ones). I'm just not into matchy, matchy. Even if I had twins, I wouldn't put matching clothes on them. Just my preference. I guess I don't understand the idea behind it. The only thing I do understand is that if I had ten kids and we were going to an amusement park, and if I had the misfortune of losing one of them the advantage would be that I wouldn't have to think about what they were wearing. For adults to wear matching t-shirts, I don't get it - is it a insecurity issue? Like, "Sorry, she/he is with me." To their credit, most of the people wearing matching t-shirts were also wearing rolled up jean cut-offs, or rolled up sleeves on the t-shirts, and/or carrying fanny packs. So, obviously it seemed to be a generational thing.

4. One day, I watched a person who was talking to someone as they finished eating, lick around their lips for at least a full minute. It was really gross. Dear friend, I know that must have been good - but, that's what napkins are for.

5. The duplicators - These are at every craft show, I'm usually one of them, but I think I'm pretty discreet about it. There are people who usually stand at my booth for quite some time trying to figure out how I made something, or even bringing someone back to my booth to show them what they should make. Two ladies stood at something at my booth and said, "Without giving us your trade secrets, can you tell us how to make these, so we can make them?" I usually respond with, "Oh, I'm sure you can figure it out."

6. Location - It tells a lot about a place when you hear a frequent saying coming from the mouth of your shoppers, "Oh, I seen them somewhere before."

7. You can tell the fashion awareness of your shoppers by their comments. Two different ends of the spectrum of comments regarding my flower headbands. A shopper loving my stuff: "Oh, I wanted to get some of these headbands like the ones Tori Spelling puts on her baby." A shopper that doesn't have cable or is not up on the latest fashions holding up a flower headband to her friends, laughing, and saying sarcastically, "Oh, look you could start a trend!" I usually have to turn around and roll my eyes.

8. One shopper was making a purchase, started rummaging through her purse, and said, "Now I just have to remember where I put my money..." In that very instant, I pictured my mom standing in a check out line rummaging through her purse and her pockets trying to remember where she put her money. She usually had to do that at every store. It made me get a little misty.

9. A man walked buy drinking from a soup can! I was like, "WHAT?? I really am in red-neck country!!" I literally thought he bought a soup can with a drink in it into the fair. I then realized there was a booth making home made soda, and they sold them in soup cans. Too funny.

That's it. Craft Show season 2009 is over, and next year's craft show season proposes to be another adventure with a new baby...

I crack myself up!

Really. I do.

Or, maybe I've just cracked...

Yesterday, I had to run an errand after I finished blogging, and I came up with a brilliant idea while driving back home. I laughed out loud at the thought of it. Which also reminded me of another time when I laughed at another brilliant idea... I feel a SIDE STORY coming on... Okay, time out... here's the SIDE STORY:

Quite some time ago, I was sitting at our kitchen table feeling so overwhelmed with all I had to do, and not knowing where to begin, or where to muster the energy to do it with. There was a pen and paper in front of me, I picked them up, and I started drawing. Pause...

(Okay, here's another SIDE STORY; try to keep up... I'm not sure when it was, second or third grade, my mom made me go see the school guidance counselor for some therapy. I was emotional and grouchy (sounds nothing like me, I know!) and I guess she didn't know what to do with me, so she made me go see the guidance counselor. You learn something new about me everyday, don't you? (thinking about this story yesterday, for the first time, I thought, "my mom really was a good mom, she didn't know how to help me, or how to fix a problem and she decided she was going to do all in her power to help me, and fix the problem, so she sent me to therapy." That's love.) I even remember my mom telling my doctor that I was her most emotional child. I would insert the word verbal instead of emotional, but to each their own. Anyway, so I had to go see the guidance counselor who was a funny looking lady who wore clothes from the 70's, (which I guess would be in style now, but not then), in her little office off of the stage. I remember playing with puppets, my mom being there sometimes, and that I didn't go for very long. I don't think anything really came of it, except a long standing joke between my mom and I. The guidance counselor was always like, "Draw me a picture to tell me how you feel." Even at that age I thought it was silly. So, this became a joke between my mom and I. Even as an adult, if I was sad or upset she would say to me, "Do you need to draw me a picture to tell me how you feel?" And, then we would both laugh.)

So that brings us back to the first SIDE STORY with me sitting at the kitchen table starting to draw. I was going to draw a picture of how I felt. I drew me, or a really ugly version of me, leaning over at the shoulders, with a frowny face, and I started making a list of words starting at my shoulders going up. Can you picture it? A pile of words starting at my shoulders, piled on top of each other, going on to TWO pieces of paper, just in words. While I drew, I laughed. Then I laughed some more when I decided what I was going to do with it. (Gosh, I sound crazy!) I was making a list of things that I felt I shoulder alone, responsibilities that seemed endless, too much to do, and that was making me lean over emotionally and physically. I then taped it up on our kitchen wall for John to see when he came in from working in the yard. I was working here in my workroom, and he came in, I heard him pause and then he said, "What is this?" And, I started laughing, really, really hard.

Fast forward to yesterday. Remember? I had a brilliant idea driving home, and it made me laugh?

I came home, immediately got some white paper and an orange highlighter and started counting my blessings, literally.

I kept counting. (I would take a picture of them, but I'm honestly too lazy.)

I envisioned me taping them up all over the walls to remind me, to help me focus on good, happy things. And, I laughed thinking about it. I laughed thinking about John coming home and seeing them. I kept laughing while writing my blessings. (Maybe I am losing my mind?) I started thinking, "it's already working." I don't care that life's not fair, I can deal with life, etc. Then, I went to put something in the mail, and it had already come and I received some unpleasant news that made me want to stop counting my blessings. I was not very happy...

I stood at the ironing board, (I was using it as my table to write my list) and stared up at the ceiling, I had no desire to count my blessings... I took a very deep breath and had to force the highlighter back in my hand. Ridiculous blessings started to cross my mind.

I'm grateful that we have a kitchen floor that all of those shoes can be scattered on.

I'm grateful we have a house that can hold all of this mess.

I'm grateful for the toilet that John needs to clean that we can use the bathroom.

I'm grateful I have a pen to write with.

Okay, so I got a little sidetracked, but I tried. But, at least for half the day I spent counting some real blessings, and laughing. It really did make me feel a little better.

Then, last night I watched the movie Seven Pounds with Will Smith. I totally cried (you would too). It helped me put things in perspective. Life could be so much worse. Yeah, it really is unfair, and the movie showed that, but it's really wonderful too. Talk about random acts of kindness!! Seeing the issues in that movie made me feel a titch ungrateful, and helped me see I really did need to count my blessings.

The orange highlighter awaits...

What if I'm not in the mood for lemonade

when life hands me lemons?

I’m not in the mood for a lemon tart, lemon bars, or lemon soufflés (even though I plan on trying a new recipe for those next week).

Where did that saying come from anyway? When life hands you lemons make lemonade? How come it doesn’t go, when life hands you lemons AND sugar make lemonade. What if you don’t already have any sugar? Who wants to drink sour lemonade? Is that the point in the saying? When life hands you lemons be thankful you can make lemonade and have something to drink even though it’s sour?

I know this goes against the cheerful nature of my blog, but I’m in a funk... can we still be friends? Maybe by the end of this post I’ll find some cheerfulness…

Am I the only one that ever thinks life is unfair? Come on, I can’t be the only one. I think I probably bugged some of my high school teachers, because I was the fair police. I had many teachers tell me I should be a lawyer. I was always reasoning with them and telling them that certain things were unfair or not right. One teacher was like, “hasn’t anyone ever told you life isn’t fair?” I replied, “life may not be fair, but it isn’t fair that you just let her do that and now you aren’t going to let him do the same thing, that ISN’T fair.” He rolled his eyes, and said, “You should be a lawyer.” But, he also totally let the other person do what he had just told them "no" to.

I know this post totally goes against trying to be like my mother. I used to tell her often, “it’s just not fair, why you?” “Why not me?” was always her reply. I know she would tell me to count my blessings right now, and look for the good things. But, you know how sometimes you aren’t in the mood to do that? But, I know that's when I need to do it the most. Whenever I have tried to count my blessings, I start a list and I get like four things on the list, and then stop, I really think it’s annoying (if you know me, you know I would have put the 'r' word there, but I’m trying to be better). I mean I know I have more than four blessings, of course… I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I guess I am. I know I have had a pretty easy, great life, but am I not allowed to be frustrated with life sometimes? Ugh.

Basically, I need to count my blessings, which will help me live with the fact that life’s not fair, right? Or at least help me focus on my blessings and be able to ignore what I don’t think is fair.

Let’s see…

1. I have a good husband
2. I have really cute kids
3. I have some good friends
4. I have a house to live in
5. …

Okay.

I’ll work on it.

Interesting

Looking for a job? John got this in the mail yesterday. (Pardon the tear in the picture. Before I throw away junk mail I usually tear up the part that has our address on it, instead of taking time to walk to the paper shredder. SIDE STORY: John got the paper shredder for an anniversary present. I know, nothing says I love you like a paper shredder. But, John said that is what he wanted. Anyway, after I tore it I actually read what it was, and got a good laugh.)

Have you ever seen a job recruitment postcard like this? I haven't. Weird. Apparently, sex sells insurance jobs too.

" Don't you want to come and work with me?"

Oh my.

Twitter

Does someone want to explain Twitter to me?

As if email, blogging, and facebook weren't enough. Is there something totally new and awesome about doing this that I don't know about? Do we need yet another venue to tell people what we are doing?

Please, edumacate me.