Tuesday Tips - How a busy mom cleans her house

Oh boy, have I got experience in this department... 

Here's how to get your house clean with three children running around:

FIRST:  Have your four (almost five) and two year olds pull out every strainer, grater, and mixing bowl you own (about 20...) and line them up in the living room for what may look like some cooking competition. 

SECOND:  Ask your children to clean them up.

THIRD:  Threaten your children to clean them up.

FOURTH:  Threaten again and count to three. 

FIFTH:  Re-organize all the bowls and dishes your children "cleaned" and stacked up for you.

And that is how you get clean, organized cupboards!  Oh, wait... it was already clean, and organized... 

How to get your child to clean their room:

FIRST:  Have child dump out every toy basket in their room.  Pull all their blankets and pillows off the bed.  Pull all of her clothes out of her drawer.  For added measure, have her bring in a few baskets of toys from her brother's room and dump those out too. 

SECOND:  Ask your child to clean her room.

THIRD:  Threaten your child to clean her room.

FOURTH:  Count to three and deal with the theatrics that follow.  "But, it's too much for me to do by myself!" "I can't fold my clothes!"  "I don't know how to fold my clothes!"  (said the girl who volunteers to help mom with laundry by folding her clothes...)

FIFTH:  Child cleans her room in ten  minutes...

SIXTH:  Be a little suspicious - especially if she cleaned her room and STILL can't find her soccer shorts.

SEVENTH:  Enter said room yourself, because you need to find child's soccer shorts in less than thirty minutes.  Notice toy baskets STUFFED with clothing.  Not toy clothing... 

EIGHTH:  Maybe get a little mad...  Make child dump ALL BASKETS out and start over. 

NINTH:  Help/direct child in cleaning her room. Watch as she pulls back the blankets on the bed she made up, to see all of her other clothes shoved there and under her pillow.  Help fold up clothes and determine what is clean and dirty. 

TENTH:  Room is clean!  Oh wait, no soccer shorts.  Ask child to make sure there are no other clothes anywhere.  Child says, "Oh yeah..."  Pulls back the blankets from the foot of the bed, more clothes, and soccer shorts!  SCORE!  Put remaining clothes away, enjoy the clean room that will last for about a day.

See???  Ten EASY steps to get your child's room clean...

How to clean your living room:

FIRST:  It helps to be missing something, say, one hair bow to match soccer uniform, and one navy blue sock to match soccer uniform. 

SECOND:  Tell your children to find it.  NOW! 

THIRD:  Watch children destroy living room.  All blankets, coloring books, notebooks pulled out of the ottoman bench and strewn all over living room.  All pillows must also be thrown in the floor. 

FOURTH:  After all the chaos, nothing is found and we have to hurry and leave for soccer without the missing items.

FIFTH:  Come home from soccer, listen to husband ask children why the living room is a disaster.

SIXTH:  Listen to husband complain about messy living room while he makes the children clean it. 

How easy was that? Only six steps to clean a living room!!


And, that, my friends, is how a busy mom cleans her house - SHE DOESN'T!!!  Because she is too busy cleaning up what was clean moments before to worry about cleaning what is actually dirty!